SAT for Dummies

1. Spend $500 on all the books you need, including that big blue one that no one uses.2. Buy mechanical pencils.3. Get scared because what if the lead isn’t #2 graphite.4. Borrow a #2 pencil from your roommate.5. Go to www.harvard.edu to get yourself determined.6. See the average SAT score and x out of page.7. Look up famous people who dropped out of college.8. Print a 12 by 12 picture of Mark Zuckerberg and tape it to your ceiling.9. Bring your unopened SAT book to EP to break the ice.10. Research colleges that don’t take SAT scores.11. Decide to go to culinary school.12. Realize you almost burned down the dorm last time you tried to make Easy-Mac.13. Decide to go to art school.14. Look up average pay for a freelance artist.15. Decide not to go to art school.16. Put an inspirational poster in your room that says, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”17. Notice that the poster’s quote has the letters S, A and T.18. Take down the poster.19. Go to CCO.20. See seniors.21. Leave CCO.22. Research SAT memes and laugh until you cry.23. Realize you are crying because you lost your only #2 pencil.24. Post an Instagram with #studying.25. Realize that since you are an Exonian and you never lie ever and you have to now study by the power and honor of the school rushing through your Nutella-clogged arteries.26. Sit down and finally open your book.27. Realise that college is $60,000 per year.28. Burn book with the fire of the failed education system.29. Vote Bernie Sanders for a better future.