Academy Community Appalled at News that Administration Receives Super PAC Funding

In an unprecedented breach of the Administration’s  online network this Tuesday, thousands of confidential files, from petty to pivotal, were leaked to the Exeter community; several outlined the startling details of a complex and suspect system of Super PAC funding for Administration Officials.

The Super PACS (independent expenditure-only committees) associated with the Academy ranged from the giants, such as Make Exeter Great Again and Arthur for a Better Tomorrow, to the more group-oriented organizations, like Right to Raise Pizza Dough and Hearth Builders United. While some PACS supported specific deans— Dean Cosgrove has received more than 86 $10-off coupons from We the Supreme Pizza Fund— the majority gave donations to the administration as a whole.

The news came as a total shock to students and faculty, who both assumed the school’s leadership was acting on behalf of the Academy and its community the whole time.

“I really still can’t fathom it,” said one unsettled Exonian. “And here I thought we received a new dining hall and a gleaming brick oven because we deserved it. But no, it was simply to please the big money builder companies. Who knew?”

Indeed, under further inspection, most decisions in recent Academy history seemed to have been made in the interest of many PACs associated with Exeter. In May of 2013, the deans received a $21,320 donation from Brick by Brick USA— the exact market price for an indoor, brick hearth oven. Last spring, Liberty, Freedom and Furniture, known to be supported by FireProof Furniture companies, handed over more than $100,000 to the administration.

While this story is still developing, the facts are clear. Students and faculty have taken to the Academic Quad to protest, but the administration has yet to comment.