Macbeth: The Video Game

Much to the chagrin of all high schoolers in America, plans have been announced to create a video game version of William Shakespeare’s tragedy Macbeth.

Level 1: Player must watch a scene of the Three Witches and then answer a series of multiple choice questions about the dramatic premise of the play.

Level 2: As Macbeth, the player must listen to several long monologues by King Duncan before the player is promoted to Thane of Cawdor.

Level 3: An essay is assigned which is due by the end of Level 5.

Level 4: You’re tired of the Old English language so you use Sparknotes.

Level 5: You ask for an extension on the paper, but you don’t get it. Repeat Level 3.

Level 6: Press X to stab the king.

Level 7: You get to talk to people about murder, but you don’t get to do it.

Level 8: You have to memorize a soliloquy, so you write it all down on your hand.

Level 9: Player runs away to go talk to the witches. The game is not equipped with a dialogue input.

Level 10: It’s a boss battle. You have to fight your inner demons.

Level 11: You lose the battle.