Exeter Facts You Probably Didn’t Know

In the last few years, more students have been forced to leave for

League of Legends than for drugs.

We just paid for the guy who owns Supremes’ summer home.

Every dollar that we pay for tuition just goes into a big Scrooge

McDuck vault in which Coz likes to swim.

Peabody was destroyed months ago. Nobody noticed.

Girls from Dunbar always have to walk in odd numbers. Because they

can’t even.

The fourth floor in Cilley Hall is actually just a Vineyard Vines store.

Tommy Song stole that bike you lost.

Phillips Exeter Academy is really just a front for the walrus mafia.

Once we check-in, Grill turns into a German cybergoth-themed dance

club for the faculty.

It takes two guys from Cilley to screw in a lightbulb. One to complain

to the butler, and another to call the electrician.

The football team always overheats, because they don’t have any fans.

What do you call a guy from Andover wearing a tie?                      

The defendant.

How do you get a guy from Ewald off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

What do you call someone from Browning at an Ivy league school?

Visiting.