D-Hall Woes

There are never enough hamburgers.

Grilled cheese sandwiches but no tomato soup.

Rock hard (pork) loins that test your teeth.

“Meat” loaf.

An overwhelming number of onions in the pasta sauce.

Brick pizza from the brick oven: if we have to break it in half, it’s wrong.

Black Russian bread?

The frightening growth of vegan and vegetarian options for those subjectively inclined to protecting and maintaining animal rights.

The lack of real butter.

The lack of Honey Nut Cheerios at Elm Street.

The lack of chicken nuggets that do not build character.

The missing peanut butter machine.

“Closing Time” a.k.a. get out of D-Hall music.

Questionable seafood.

Red’s Best Catch of Yesterday.

Steroid-enhanced Nestlé Blueberry Pomegranate Acai Water.

The way ice cream comes out of the soft serve machine.

General Tsao’s chicken nuggets.

The 2 percent milk that became 1 percent milk that became skim milk.

A depressing lack of milk in general.

No section for friendless people like us.

When people can’t use the panini press properly.

When we miss the utensil tray and our forks, spoons and knives all hit the ground in a spectacular clatter.

When D-Hall runs out of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

When the soup bar disappeared this winter.

When only one D-Hall is open during blizzards.

When your metal fork or spoon or knife bends.

When the PG in front of you in line takes the last seven quesadillas.

D-Hall traffic in the fall when no one knows  how to stand in line.

D-Hall traffic in the spring during Experience Exeter.