Exonian Confessions
Dear World,
It’s time to come clean. I have been hiding parts of myself from my peers and therefore have been denying who I am. To finally be at peace, I have decided to share all of my dirty secrets.
First thing’s first —I like the color blue. Sinful, I know. It’s pretty much like saying that I like Bush, or any other scum that graduated from Andover, but it’s true. Sometimes I feel guilty when I put on my favorite navy sweater and most times I feel like that guilt is well deserved. Recently I’ve been having nightmares where someone attacks me in Dhall with a butter knife and I am pierced by the sharp blade. Suddenly, I start bleeding blue. My peers look up. They gasp. I gasp. A wolf howls wistfully in the distance, and the deans descend upon me. I’m expelled.
Moving on, I must admit that I have done some gross things. Between homework, studying, clubs, sports, movies, TV shows, thinking of the Valentines I never get and the Health Center, I run out of time for being sanitary. I have gone three days without showering, two weeks without doing laundry and three weeks without taking out the trash. I’ve had a fruit fly infestation, found staples in my hair, started using a handkerchief, found a filled water bottle from last year and even discovered that a prep had been living in my closet for the past month. We Exonians aren’t just a mess on the inside.
Lastly, my rebellious decisions aren’t actually that rebellious. I feel like a bit of a daredevil when leaving Dhall filled with a cup of peanut butter and Ritz, but in reality, I’m just leaving DHall with a cup of peanut butter and Ritz. Occasionally, I’ll take the long path to assembly because when I refuse to take the sidewalk to class and choose to walk over the snow and grass, I feel powerful. Like I’m controlling my destiny or something. But in times like these I end up slipping down Soule’s hill and making awkward eye contact with that one person from math class whose name I still don’t know. I promise that I’m not a complete softie. I even thought about wearing leggings once.
Regardless, please don’t tell my mom.
Unabashedly,
Majestic