A Senior Stuck in a Lower's Body

Judging by my personal level of laziness and stress, I have determined that I am a senior stuck in a lower’s body. Yes, this sounds outrageous, but it’s true. It’s exactly like Freaky Friday, but not at all like Freaky Friday. That being said, I have decided to share my E/A senior weekend plans with the less fortunate.Firstly, a kilt is not a kilt if I don’t make it into a short skirt. Not only does it show that I am edgy and rebellious, but it also demonstrates my willingness to deal with the cold. (The physical cold, not the kind that seeps from the empty void that is my heart.) Articles of clothing are imperative to showing your true spirit. The less layers you wear mean the less layers between you and victory. Truth. The more clothes you wear, the weaker you are. In fact, if all I wear is red paint, I can truly become one with the aura of Exeter. Which, I suppose, is a bad idea, but it’s a sacrifice worth making.On Friday I’m going to release my inner beast. During assembly I’m going to forget about all non-seniors, especially the lowers even though they really need my love right now and I am just ignoring them and they have feelings but it’s my time to shine but they’re lowers they’re just tiny people oh they need help. I’ll hoot and holler and when Principal Hassan invites everyone to storm the stage I’m going to jump up and scar him for life just like last year. When we all circle the bonfire and cheer on our team, I’m going to secretly be chanting a spell to help us win. Not because I’m into witchcraft or don’t believe in our school, but, you know, for the new experiences Exeter provides. During my incantation at the frigid pep rally, I plan on only losing two toes to frostbite. (I like to stay optimistic.)During the games I will have absolutely no idea what is going on. But that’s not the point—the point is that by the end of this weekend people will have recognized me as a supportive, active member of the community. If I set my standards high enough, then I will lose my voice from all the unnecessary screaming and have an excuse to not talk in class.My final goal is to be on fire. Literally. As the Amen girls say, "Red hot!"And that’s that. I will have successfully been the senior I knew I was all along and get back to lower life right before I burst into sobs from looking at all my apps. Just kidding. The sobs have always been there, they’re just internal.Happy E/a!