How to Have a $uper $wag $pring
Everybody knows that spring term is the time to be at Exeter. It’s the time when everyone goes outside, enjoys the weather and has a great time. It’s the time you can’t walk across the South Side quad without stepping on a scantily-clad sun soaker or getting nailed by a fabulously fun frisbee flight. But not everyone knows how to get the most out of their spring term. For those people, I’ve written this as a one-stop guide for you to have a great 2-3 weeks of sun and fun.
Preps:
Welcome to the big leagues. I know, your prep fall was hard. With pass-fail classes and next to no extracurricular activities, your 10:45 bedtimes were a little too much to handle. You spent your hard earned time in Elm Street (RIP Study Hall), chiseling away at that ten page chunk of Seamus Heaney, toiling day and night on those two pages of philosophical gold for your “Faith and Doubt” class. You had to make friends and establish yourself as either “in prep posse,” or “other.”
Winter term, you didn’t exist, much like the sun and the upper class.
But now, it’s spring, your time to shine (badum, tss). Prep spring is a time for discovery, truly a spiritual experience. The first thing you need to do is discover the fear and delight that is bridge jumping. Climb up on that stone behemoth and look down at the icy water below. Scared? Good. There are like totes lampreys and mad old cars in there. Your knees shake while that one friend threatens to kick your knees out if you don’t go. And finally just as you’re “about to jump,” he does, and you plunge to your watery tomb. Incredibly, after a 7 foot drop, you hit the water safely. Nailed it. Once you’re out of the water, grab your Sperrys or Exeter flip flops and run like the wind. Campus safety will find you. Tell them you didn’t know it was against the rules and narrowly avoid a DC.
After you’ve escaped sure death, use the infinite freetime you somehow possess to learn something on the quad. Beg one of the Cilley or Wentworth upperclassmen to let you in on their game of ultimate frisbee. You don’t know how to throw a frisbee, but over the next month or so, you will, at some point, become convinced you are destined to be the next Paul McBeth.
Lowers:
After taking that killer compsci class in the fall and welcoming (read: hazing) the preps in the winter, you’re ready for some fun in the sun. You’ve already got the experience from last spring, so you’re ready to let loose and push some preps off of the bridge. You’re weeks away from becoming upperclassmen, so soak up some rays while you still have the chance to be young and irresponsible. What’s homework? Flirt with the cutie in your Modern India class (like I did when Ben and I took the class together last year) and make sure to tan on their dorm quad when they’re out there enjoying the magic of spring term. Who cares if you’re missing classes to do it or not doing any homework? The rules don’t apply spring term and you’re no longer a wide eyed prep. You are a seasoned lower, on too cool to gawk and too free to care. Enjoy it while you can, and don’t forget to change your profile picture to that super cute one your friend took of you. It’ll totally get at least 100 likes and maybe the hottie in your class will notice you. Remember, your days of fun are waning, so soak up the 50 degree weather and soak up the lack of responsibility.
Uppers:
For half of you, your time has come. After coming back from spring break, the "Paper That Shall Not Be Named" was thrusted upon you. You were suddenly (and forcefully) reacquainted with the library, and your carpal tunnel syndrome returned with a vengeance. However, after weeks of slaving away and crying, the peak of your suffering has been reached. The worst is over. You can join other first half friends in becoming quad eye candy for the lowerclassmen. Toss all of your regret (and research) off the bridge when you and your friends take a jump (or eight) off the bridge. Show off for the preps and get a nice tan so you’re ready for your senior crush to take you to prom or tea.
For the other half, the heck begins. Gather your sleeping bag and move into the library. Make a Twitter account so that everyone around you can know how much upper year sucks. Tweet pictures of you from the library and tweet blank computer screens at three in the morning so the other procrastinators know how you’re hardly working. Remember, if it isn’t documented, it didn’t happen. Keep in mind that the year will soon finish and after you hand in the "Paper That Shall Not be Named" you have the college application process to look forward to.
Seniors:
Senior spring is notorious for being the best term on campus. Between art classes and English electives that meet three times a week, you finally have the chance to catch up on sleep and worry about the real things that future adults think about. The free time allows seniors to plan elaborate promposals and scout out their class page on Facebook. There isn’t much advice for how to make senior spring rock, as it’s pretty hard to mess it up. Remember to pressure your classmates into joining the Senior Skip Day tradition so none of your teachers dick you and try not to fail your classes.
Teachers:
Why make life harder than it is for you and your students? Stop giving homework, stop giving tests and start giving release time and watching movies during class time instead. That’s how students best learn and you can have the time to… do whatever it is teachers do in their free time.