Why Only Divest?

All this talk of divestment has got me thinking: we’re all global citizens, you know? By living on this beautiful mother Earth, we must give back and each take some responsibility for the environment. Think of those baby seals we kill each time we fill up that tank of gas and each degree Celsius that the global temperature rises each time we take the library elevator from floor 3 to 3M. But anyways, back to the issue at hand—divestment.If we truly are going to declare this campus as green, divestment would only be our first step. If we were to divest tomorrow, which would obviously be the best course of action, we may or may not (but who cares really) have to allocate less money to our soon-to-be fewer Financial Aid students. But hey! In the long run, that may be for the better. According to Admissions, fifty percent of Exonians are on some sort of financial aid, so with fewer students on campus we would use much less energy and produce much less waste, which is better for the environment. As an educational institution, it’s our job to worry more about the social statement we are presenting to than about the quality of the program provide for students.The next step should be to address how we use (or rather, abuse) animals for “educational purposes” on campus. Why should we be so concerned about polar bears or seals in the arctic if we are slaying their brethren, the Drosophila melanogaster (also known as the friendly fruit fly), in our very own classrooms? I mean, doesn’t this go against everything we stand for as global citizens? Someone call PETA, because this is a crime.Another step to prove that “green” truly runs though our veins is to start filtering the food served in dining hall. Slowly, so that students would not notice, we should start to serve less and less meat, and then begin abolish animal products on the whole. We should then consider whether it is even ethical to eat at all, because who actually knows if lettuce has a soul?If we just rid the Earth of humans, wouldn’t it make it a much greener place? And isn’t that what we want? So, my friends, why take the first step by divesting, when you can just take them all?