Toilet Humor

Some have recently argued that the Grill bathrooms should become co-ed. I’d like to discuss the benefits and detriments the implementation of such policy might pose.The idea of co-ed bathrooms might be very attractive to many, including those who enjoy having prolonged conversation while at the urinal next to you. (For the record, I personally reserve bathroom use for reading Percy Jackson novels and entering into a deep state of meditation on the immensity of purgative practices.) Others, on a serious note, genuinely believe in the just cause of bathroom segregation.To the latter category, I say but one thing: women wouldn’t want to share bathrooms with me or any other man or being who identifies as male, even to the slightest extent.We do not put toilet seats down, and if they do happen to be down, then we accidentally pee on them and wipe it off with paper towels, trying to hide our mistakes by pretending they didn’t happen. Sometimes we don’t even flush. On purpose.Women also take far too much time in performing their excretory duties, which, if you’re in a crowded environment, makes the male bathroom something akin to a Six Flags’ fast pass in compariso. That in mind, I ask: what’s not to like about the bathroom division? If you can, you should utilize both. You are able to enjoy the clean, pristine environment of a woman’s toilette, and, alternately, occasionally explore the incredibly unsanitary sanitary devices of men for the sake of expedience.People shouldn’t be forced to accept gender roles they don’t identify with, but bathrooms should remain segregated for the sake of convenience—perhaps only to ensure that the nastiness of men all along the gender spectrum remains contained.