Dear Alumni

Is it true, what they say, that there really is a world out there? I’ve heard tell of such things, but I had never believed its truth. Occasionally one of my teachers will mention something of the outside world, some phenomenon they call “current events.” After such a slip of a tongue, however, they fall silent and hold unmoving their pale stoic faces, untouched by the sun.Yes, I have read tales of what the old poets called “sun,” but never have I witnessed such a magnificent thing. Is it true that there is something beyond the unabating rain clouds, the wild wet snow stinging my eyes? And when you emerge from the Exeter darkness, does the sun blind you and do you desire to return to those shadows you know best?Tell me if there is a world where the word “dickey” means nothing, where “lively maroon” is reduced to “red,” where wearing loud clashing pastels is a symbol not of status but of insanity. There are savages out there, I’ve heard. I have been warned never to try and leave, to remain within a careful 10 mile boundary watched by our overlord Cosgrove.How could you ever have left the nurturing Exeter womb, where food is mediocre but plentiful, all ailments are cured through packets of ibuprofen and buttered toast, and constant mental stimulation is provided through analyzing the writings of old white men of ages past? I’ve heard the world is cruel and harsh, the horrors of “jobs,” “careers,” “working” for “money"—that’s what the deans say. They’re protecting us from out there. Tell me, do you ever regret choosing the red pill and not the blue?