Senior of the Week: Shalom Headly

By SELIM KIM and ALAYSHA ZHANG

Four year senior Shalom Headly is always a shining presence, whether or not the spotlight shines on them. They are the co-head of Exeter Association of Rock (EAR) and an avid class representative for two years. Not only is Headly always present at events, but they are a trendsetter, someone who can always bring up the energy level, and a person many peers look up to. 

 Coming from Washington DC, Headly arrived at Exeter in search of a new community. “I wanted to be in a space where I felt normal, and as a queer person within a predominantly black community, I felt pretty isolated because of my queerness,” they said. “So, I wanted to come to Exeter because I thought it would be an intellectual challenge and also a place with a lot of different types of queer people.” 

Headly was soon able to find their community at the Academy, especially within the arts. Headly explained, “My favorite subjects have been music. I love music and I took Dr Schultz’s electronic music composition class in upper fall and upper winter as well as a performance master class with Mr. Johnson. I’ve been taking music lessons my whole time here, I used to take guitar lessons with Mr. Squires before he left and I take voice lessons with Ms. Pacaric right now.” 

Headly’s passion for music shines clear as some of their favorite memories at Exeter “have to be on stage.” Headly said, “I’ve been performing since I was a prep, through EAR and dance clubs, and while I haven’t really danced in a couple of years due to COVID, I love performing with EAR.”

Headly continued by looking back at one of their first, memorable performances. “The first song I ever performed at Exeter was ‘Jackie Wilson’ by Hozier for the EAR assembly, which I wasn’t even miked for, so I was playing the piano really badly, and screaming at the top of my lungs trying to do harmonies behind the lead singer, who was Chloe Minicucci, a lower at the time. But yeah, performing has been one of my favorite memories here,” Headly expressed. 

Headly’s radiating presence on the stage also does not go unnoticed by friends. Upper Lara Muyombwe believes that Headly “brings talent” to the Exeter community.”Their voice needs to be heard, especially since their voice rings out with authenticity,” Muyombwe said.

Senior Anya Tang continued similar sentiments, sharing their admiration of seeing Headly perform. “I am always so moved by Shalom’s voice, but getting to hear them on the stage in the assembly hall was such a melodic, moving moment.”

Tang continued, “Some of my favorite memories with Shalom have been having the privilege to hear them sing…that is so amazing and so sacred and so intimate that it is one of those moments of care that I really cherish.”

Instructor in Health Education and advisor for Gender Sexuality Alliance (GSA) Courtney Shaw also recognizes Headly’s musical talent: “If you’ve ever been to anything that they’ve ever performed, your life has been blessed.” 

However, Headly’s interests are not limited to music. They have been taking Japanese for 6 years now, and note their passion for the language. Headly said, “It’s just something I really love, I love learning new languages, I love Emily [Wang], she’s what makes the class great, and I can’t really imagine Exeter without it.” 

Headly was also able to find an interest in religion courses. “I’ve only taken religion twice while at Exeter, but each time I’ve had Mr. Simpson and it’s been a pretty great learning experience, it’s really helping me do a lot of introspection and see myself in different ways,” they explained.

Though Headly has found their space in music and academic courses, Headly has also found a community amongst Exonians, contributing immensely to it.  

Headly spoke about their time as a class representative. “Something else I’ve loved is just building a community here. I love being a class rep: I’ve been a class rep for the past two years and I just love helping people. It makes me really happy when I can give food back to my class, or plan an event that everyone enjoys, or give people an opportunity to relax, considering Exeter can be such a stressful environment,” Headly said.

This clear passion for community-building does not go unnoticed by Headly’s peers. Many note their deep admiration for Headly’s ability to bring people together. Fellow co-head of EAR and class representative senior Allison Kim shared, “I think they do so much for the community. I was in StuCo with them, and they’ve been class rep for two years. They have so many good ideas for class events and they always make sure that people are going to be included.”  

Senior Emily Wang noted, “They are very social, good at making friends, and asking people to hang out. They allow people to form different connections with different people and hang out together, which is nice. I’m sure they are a role model for a bunch of lowerclassmen because they’re also friends with a lot of lowerclassmen.” 

“They definitely do bring a lot of people together,” Senior Alana Reale said, agreeing with Wang. “I think a lot of people know Shalom and a lot of people are friends with Shalom and many of the friends that I have I’ve actually met through Shalom, and that goes across grades…They’ve probably brought a lot of people together and helped form a lot of friendships that will last long.”

Like Wang and Reale, Tang continued the thought of Headly’s amity. Tang said, “I think Shalom does a lot of things at Exeter, but one of the key threads that ties together all of their work is that focus on bringing people together, whether it’s in their music, their art, their extracurriculars, or especially as one of our senior class reps and a student listener in Williams house.” 

Tang continued, “Shalom’s contributions to this community are all centered on this capability to not only heal people through the virtue of what they create and how they express themselves, but also encourage and inspire people, especially me, to think differently about our own roles in this community and our own identities, ways of being in this world, ways of being with each other. And I think that is so, so wonderful.”

Muyombwe agreed with Tang regarding Headly’s ability to inspire others. “I admire the way that they’re always there to emotionally support people…I’ve been able to really understand myself and have conversations about myself with them. They’ve really helped me grow as a person and I admire that they’re such a good friend, and still take time for themselves,” Muyombwe shared.

Headly’s ability to inspire others also extends towards educating others. Senior Jack Archer said, “ I really appreciate how Shalom is willing to help people understand uncomfortable subjects they might not have much experience with. Shalom and I come from really different backgrounds, and I remember coming into Exeter thinking I understood a lot more about how race or gender or sexuality affects people’s lives than I actually did, and Shalom wasn’t afraid to call me out on my ignorance but then help me understand these things a little better.” 

Archer continued, “They taught me how to approach things I didn’t know about with the intention to learn but also to be conscious of how this burdened people. I’m really grateful for the conversations we had back on the fourth floor of Wentworth, and I think they are a part of what has made me who I am now.”

Headly’s championship has also affected many people. Their humor and caring nature are treasured among their friends. “You can count on them when you’re having a hard time,” Kim said. “They are connected to people and willing to put so much energy into relationships. I know that takes a lot of effort, but they do that with everyone and anyone.” 

Senior Tasmiah Akter spent time in quarantine during the same time as Headly last year, and she reflected on how Headly’s caring nature truly shined in those moments. Akter said, “I’m so grateful to be able to call Shalom my friend because not only do they bring so much joy into my life, but they also genuinely care for me as a person. What could’ve been a really draining, isolating, and downright boring time in my life became fun and even rejuvenating in many ways.”

Upper Yasmin Salerno noted her appreciation for Headly’s ability to make anyone, even those they have just met, feel included. “I appreciate their sort of inviting nature, as well as inclusivity. Whether you’re a lowerclassmen or you know them really well, or you don’t know them really well, they just kind of treat everyone like you’re their best friend already,” Salerno said. 

To Headly, creating such feelings of inclusivity within all communities is one of the ways in which they hope to contribute to Exeter. “For a long time I felt really alone and unheard at Exeter and so, if I could have at least helped others feel connected to this community, and helped them feel seen in ways they might not have before, then I’ve contributed more than enough,” Headly said.

Headly also believes that curating those close relationships is essential to one’s experience at Exeter. “The best thing you can do here is build community,” they advised. “Build connections that you’ll cherish forever. Even if they’re not friendships, all sorts of relationships are important to build and grow.”

Indeed, throughout their time at Exeter, Headly found a community, formed new relationships, and, above all, left a lasting mark. “I think the way they’ve interacted with people throughout the past four years, the way they involved themselves in the community, whether that be UnSilenced performances or EAR thing, and the conversations they’ve had with people will definitely stay on people’s minds,” Senior Diwura Adesanya said.

Within the relationships that Headly has formed, many shared their deep appreciation for Headly’s humor. “They’re funny. I think that I’m always laughing when I’m hanging out with them,” Wang said. 

Archer agreed. “All of my favorite memories with Shalom are just of spending time with him — in my room in Wentworth, catching up on a Sunday and updating swapping Wentworth and Will house stories. I always enjoy spending time with Shalom. He’s super easy to talk to, and always makes me laugh,” he said. 

Kim shared similar sentimentents: “I think Shalom is always so kind to everyone, even if they kind of tease you…and it’s not a malicious thing. They’re just very comfortable with you and willing to make jokes with you.”

Kim continued by recalling a specific moment where Headly shared a particularly hilarious anecdote. “This isn’t really a memory that I’ve had with them, but just a memory that remains in my mind. So they won, or they didn’t win…this hot dog contest in the summer of their seventh grade where they ate like 36 hot dogs. Sadly, they didn’t get to win because first place won like 40 or something. It was like in 10 minutes and whenever I eat hot dogs with them. I remember this.”

“One of my other favorite things about Shalom is that they always make the most out of pocket comments. I cannot elaborate,” Tang added. 

Though Headly has found their place within Exeter, they note that the path to achieving that was not always easy. “I actually really struggled academically for a long time. I was on scholastic warning and academic probation, and I had undiagnosed ADD until Upper Year,” Headly said. 

Nevertheless, they prevailed through doing what they first came to Exeter to do: finding a community. Headly explained, “I built a support system and I moved dorms, I switched advisories too (I love you Dr. Marshall), and that helped me a lot. Having steady support and an understanding of my strengths and weaknesses, I learned how to organize myself in a way that made sense to me, and it helped me get back to where I needed to be.”

Now, many admire Headly’s ability to stay true to themselves. Prep Maemi Carillo said, “I think Shalom brings a presence in like the weirdest and the craziest way possible. I think everyone here is so centered and focused around their homework and school, but at least when I met them, they were just really good at making sure that I know that school isn’t everything. And they’re like, ‘oh, it’s good to have fun’... they’re really a bright persona on campus.”

Like Carillo, Shaw values Headly’s undoubtedly lively character. “Even when Shalom’s having a bad day, it’s really hard to gauge if they’re actually having a bad day because they’re still in such positive spirits. I think that that’s something that this campus is really gonna suffer as they leave this year because I think that a lot of times people really contribute to the pain Olympics here, and everybody’s talking about how they’re struggling and they’re proud of that, but Shalom was living and they’re proud of that,” Shaw noted. 

Upper Kodi Lopez agreed. “Shalom leaves behind a legacy of being crazy and unapologetically themselves. They are also extremely funny. Since day one of my Exeter career, Shalom continued to be a strong figure in my life that I could either call in the middle of the night crying or have good times with,” Lopez said. 

As the school year comes to a close and Headly nears graduation, they reflected on their four years at the Academy: “Exeter has taught me a lot. I’ve learned how to be my own person, and I have learned what I want in any environment that I’ll be in. Frankly, I learned that environments like Exeter are not designed for me and I don’t thrive in ways that I wanted to here. And that’s been really powerful for me. Learning that there wasn’t something wrong with me, it was just that I didn’t click with the space, helped me unlearn a lot of the self-hatred that I had gained while being here,” they said. 

“Exeter has also taught me how to organize myself, how to organize others, how to network, how to ask questions, how to talk to teachers and administrators, and how to chase my dreams and trust my heart,” Headly concluded.