Senior of the Week: Nuki Thiruchelvam

By: Maame Dufie Awuah, Anvi Bhate, Alia Bonanno, Hannah Park

  Nuki Thiruchelvam has always been lending a caring and compassionate ear to anyone who needs it. The four-year senior is a proctor and student listener in Amen Hall, whose passion for human rights and law has driven her activities at the Academy.

  Thiruchelvam initially decided to come to Exeter because of the close-knit community she observed and later experienced. “The longer I've been at Exeter, the more everyone around here feels like family and feels like a [close] community. [Because of that], I'm able to give myself the space to just be myself and not worry about others,” she said. 

  In particular, she’s valued her time in Amen Hall as a leader and a peer. “I like to keep up with the dorm and I like to talk to people and connect with them,” Thiruchelvam said. “I try to be there for people and make their lives a little better in whatever way I can, whether that be like lending an ear or making jokes and just the little stuff like that.”

  Thiruchelvam is equally cherished by her fellow Amen members. “She’s very active in the Amen community, and you can tell by the relationship that she’s built in Amen, and how much people love Nuki. I know a lot of people go to her for advice because she’s very approachable and welcoming,” upper and Amen Hall member Michelle Park said. “She's so genuine and loving and compassionate to her friends and the people around her. I think that's one of the biggest contributions to our Amen community— just the love that [Nuki] has for other people.”  

  Thiruchelvam’s adviser and Amen Hall dorm head Betty Luther-Hillman said, “Nuki genuinely cares about her peers and other community members. She is always asking people how they are doing and is never hesitant to offer a smile or a warm greeting.” 

  Luther-Hillman continued, “I think Nuki epitomizes ‘non sibi.’ She exudes a caring and communal outlook, and this uplifts the people around her.”

  Thiruchelvam’s favorite memories of Exeter were on “the [days] where we have the time to actually appreciate it.” She recalled such a day from earlier this spring term. “There was a really, really sunny day a few weeks ago...I texted my group of friends and we decided to go down to the river. We tried to rope swing but when we got there it was a mess because [they had taken it down], so we had to swim across the river,” she said. “It was freezing and we were all totally dying...but after, we just laid in the grass for hours in the sun, just listening to music and sleeping, which was really, really nice.”

  The Academy has impacted Thiruchelvam in a number of ways, but it especially gave her an appreciation for the relationships she’s been able to form. “The culture at Exeter is insane because you're with so many different types of people. In my friend group, all of our stories are so different and I would never have thought that it could be possible to [have friends] from all over the world,” Thiruchelvam said. “We teach each other things all the time...I feel like I’ve learned something new every day here, which is so special.”

  In addition to affecting her relationships and academics, Thiruchelvam’s time at Exeter has altered how she approaches others. "I've definitely changed. My prep year, I was so incredibly shy. I would let people do whatever and say whatever and it didn't bother me,” Thiruchelvam said. “I didn't come into myself until last year and this year. Now, I'm making new friends all the time and I'm able to say and do stuff that I would never have done my prep year.”

  Many of her friends also noted how Thirmuchelvam has grown over the course of her high school years. “I think she's grown into herself more, and it has been a real gift to watch,” senior Morgan Lee said. “She's become much more confident, and it makes me really proud to see.”

  Spanish instructor Ellen Glassner commented on Thiruchelvam’s development as a student. “I was so happy when Nuki landed in my class again during her upper year because it gave me a chance to see how she had grown, most notably in her confidence as a student,” she said. 

  Luther-Hillman said, “I think she has gained confidence in herself. She does not seem to spend a lot of time comparing herself to others, but simply focuses on what she cares about, which is helping others and learning more about the world around her.”

  Park recalled these changes by describing her first few encounters with Thiruchelvam. “At first, I didn’t really know how to approach her, because as a prep it was kind of awkward for me to reach out to lowers,” Park said. “I realized soon, however, that we had the same sense of humor and that’s how our relationship blossomed...over time, we began confiding in each other with our problems, and being more vulnerable with each other.”

  Thiruchelvam works to be as approachable and open as she can. That passionate drive to help and be an ally to everyone in her life has carried over to her career goals. “I'm really passionate about social justice and I want to be like an international human rights lawyer. I want to help people and change the world in a little bit of time. Changing even one person's life for the better is one of the most important things you can do,” she said.

  Thiruchelvam’s interest in human rights began when she was younger. “My parents are immigrants...Growing up, a lot of my friends and [people in] the community I was in were undocumented citizens. I would listen to their stories, to what they had to go through, what they still face and the fears they have,” she said. “I became aware that the way that I grew up was somewhat different from the way they grew up...the opportunities I had and the opportunities they did not.”

  According to her peers, Thiruchelvam’s authenticity is admirable. “Everything she does is very genuine; everything she does has a purpose and it’s never done with an ulterior motive. She takes part in activities because she genuinely wants to or because she wants to benefit something or someone,” Park said. “She always partakes in activities with an honest motivation.”

  Senior Audrey Yin shared a similar sentiment. “I think she’s needed in the Exeter community because oftentimes people here take themselves too seriously… but she's just a very down to earth, personable friend. She doesn't buy into the competitive toxicity of this place, which is really rare,” she said. 

  Thiruchelvam’s friends also all noted her humor and uplifting attitude. “Nuki is one of the most considerate, caring people I have met. She is funny without trying to be, and brings light and humor into every situation… I feel as if Nuki has found her place within Exeter. She is easygoing, friendly, and everyone loves her,” senior Oia Eng said. 

  Glassner said, “Besides being a conscientious and dedicated student, Nuki is a thoroughly delightful and endearing person. I’ll miss seeing her bright smile around campus!”

  Senior Haya Firas said, “I would describe her as having the best humor ever…She can literally get along with anyone. She’s really uplifting and she has the most contagious laugh.”

  Firas fondly recalled one of the many times Thiruchelvam brightened up the room. “There was one time we were in Grill and playing cards and then she did something, and everyone was laughing for like five hours straight,” Firas said.

  Yin said, “[She’s] bright, like a diamond. I think that she has the ability to spread joy to everybody on a very personal level,” she said.

  Lee recounted the endless times Nuki had her rolling on the floor laughing. “[Nuki is] one of the best friends I have ever had. She truly uplifts everyone she interacts with,” she said. “She's so perceptive and empathetic and has the best sense of humor.”

  Lee continued by describing her positivity and how she helps make Exeter a happier place. “Her kindness is so powerful—Exeter would not have been Exeter without her, to me. She makes everyone feel happier about the world,” she said.

  Eng recalled a time when Thiruchelvam’s peanut allergy caused a stir, though the incident is now a fond memory among their group of friends. “A memory I have of Nuki is when she sampled some snickerdoodle cookies, not knowing they were made with peanut oil. She went into anaphylactic shock, and we scrambled to stab her with her Epipen,” Eng recalled. “It was a very scary experience, but fortunately she was okay. Now she knows from that experience to always carry her Epipen with her, as she had previously developed the bad habit of not doing so.” 

  Yin fondly remarked on the humor in Thirmuchelvam’s allergy. “Every single time we upset her she's like, ‘Is it because I have a peanut allergy?’ That's kind of a joke,” Yin said.

  The best advice Thiruchelvam received during her time is a sentiment she wishes to pass forward to underclassmen: “Never be afraid to ask for help. There was a lower in my dorm, when I was a prep, who would always tell me to make sure you ask for help. That sort of thing may seem really tough in this community, and you may be surrounded by people who you are intimidated by, but everybody is dealing with their own stuff and struggling in their own ways. It's never a bad thing to ask for help when you need it,” she said. 

  Her final advice to Exonians is to branch out and try new things. “You don't need to stay where you are and just perfect that one thing. It's always nice to do something new or try something new. Make a new friend with someone you didn't think you'd be friends with, sit down at a new table, little things like that!” Thiruchelvam said. “I wish that I had branched out more when I was younger and done more of the cool things that I wanted to do instead of being too afraid of what other people would think.”