Why Exeter: Pro Sibi
By KAYLEE GONG‘28
Every day, a thousand Exonians pull themselves out of a warm bed, just to face another monotonous and laborious day of combating Harkness warriors, appealing to annoying teachers, and completing an endless to-do list. Students trudge across campus in the cold wind and snow with a consistent schedule of three upcoming tests, six hours of sleep, and classes until six. It’s nearly inevitable to begin questioning your purpose along a seemingly endless life of hardship at Exeter. Why did I even want to come to boarding school in the first place? Why did I choose Exeter, out of all the schools?
When thousands of prospective students apply for boarding school, everyone has a different set of reasons. Some come on superficial terms: for parents, for material aspirations, etc. However, what I’ve noticed from countless observations and conversations with upperclassmen, is that the most meaningful, sustainable, and successful mindset is actually for yourself. Even with the irony of Exeter’s “not for oneself” (non sibi) motto, being motivated by your own passion and willingness to learn and grow is the most preeminent purpose at elite boarding schools.
If we can grapple with and accept this “why boarding school” question, then we begin to ask, “which one?” Across the East Coast, a multitude of boarding schools foster the next generation of bright students, but amongst the shiny names stands out one: Phillips Exeter Academy. Arguably known as the most difficult of all premier high schools and having the most workload, many students steer away. On paper, the Harkness learning method is what makes Exeter unique, but what if the insane amount of expected work is what truly makes Exeter so great?
There is no denying the power of Harkness learning. The ability to learn how to speak is something that will sustain you in all aspects of life and prepare Exonians for modern society. I would choose Harkness learning in every lifetime, but it isn’t the only thing that makes Exeter special. Yes, the people and community at Exeter are amazing, but you can always find certain types of people at every school. Instead, it’s Exeter’s immaculate ability to change your abilities and thinking that epitomizes the school.
The only time you grow is when you are pushed past your comfort zone. Exeter stretches and tests your abilities more than any other similar boarding school. Through the hardships the school forces you to endure, and you subconsciously develop a stronger, smarter, and better mind. The four hours of homework, packed schedule, and grueling curriculum are what help you to become your best. As the most demanding East Coast boarding school, only the distinct adversity of Exeter efficiently results in growth and promotes changes in thinking and perspectives.
However, that’s the answer to my purpose. Exeter is perfect in my view because it fulfills my goal of attending boarding school: broadening my way of thinking. In the end, though, there is no definitive right answer. For a general population, there is no singular, right purpose of attending boarding school or right school. Instead, there is only the belief that you made the best decision for yourself. You can weigh the pros and cons or compare statistics between other institutions, but as long as you believe Exeter is the right choice, it is.
