The Exeter Pressure
By ARYAN AGARWAL ‘27
When one discusses Phillips Exeter Academy, it is almost necessary that they mention the school’s tendency to stress students. What has been called “The Exeter Pressure” is a phenomenon that most Exonians and even the administration are aware of. As an all-pervasive part of the Exeter experience, it is merely accepted by those on campus. With our crammed schedules, soaring mountains of homework, and lack of sleep, difficulty is inherent. Yet, the question that I pose is whether this pressure is actually helpful. Students are typically led to believe that despite the hardship we may face during our time at the school, Exonians upon graduation will look back to appreciate much of what they went through. This depiction is painted in a more colorful way than what reality truly holds.
Exeter can burn students out to say the least. Oftentimes we find ourselves overworked, sleep deprived, and even depressed or weary about the future. This is just inherent to the nature of our school. If you haven’t felt it yet, you can believe me that you will eventually, and it won’t be the last time that you do. What exactly do we expect from this constant pressure? That it will magically go away once we graduate, somehow leaving us calloused for the real world. That is an idealistic view, one that is ignorant of terrible work habits that are developed at this school.
When students go through Exeter, they run on six hours of sleep, lackluster nutrition, and are busy for over half of the full day. That leads to the mindset that one can only be truly successful if they are a workaholic. Leaving Exeter, they will repeat the same unhealthy routines and find themselves in the same burnt-out condition. We call ourselves a premier learning institution, but how can we take that position if we churn out students like that? Sure, maybe they will be successful by quantitative metrics of success like going far in their careers or earning considerable salaries. At the same time, it is hard to say that someone so drained could be considered prosperous.
Of course, this is in no way the condition of all Exonians. It is quite deceptive to feed you that belief. Still, students at our school are highly susceptible to falling into this trap. This is why I posit the following: Exeter will cause trouble for you later in life unless you follow a greater purpose. I will spend the rest of my time explaining exactly what I mean by that.
What is your “why”? Why exactly do you wake up in the morning everyday to trudge to class? I believe that many don’t have answers, and even if they do, they may not fully believe it. When we work for reasons that are small scale, it can feel as though we are doing this all for nothing. I believe a quote from Mark Twain summarizes my point here perfectly: “Find a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”
I in no way believe that you will, or that you should, always enjoy what you are doing. In many ways, the struggle is exactly what strengthens us. What I am really saying is that having something bigger than school, something bigger than your career, something that you could even say you love, is exactly what allows one to push through the turmoil. It is the security in the feeling that once you come out of the seemingly endless darkness, there will be a beautiful light awaiting you. Now the question is what that purpose is for you. What should a purpose even look like? If you struggle to find one, I don’t think that it means that your life is shallow or something of the sort.