Should Valentine’s Day Be A Holiday?
By DIYA SANDEEP ‘28 and ANNIE ZHU ‘28
It’s that dreaded day again. I sit in my bed, scrolling through reels of pink, red, and white. Couple this, couple that. I check all of my friends’ stories and see them smiling with their significant other; they’re holding hands, going on dinner dates, and unboxing chocolates and flowers. Upon opening Snapchat, I’m ambushed by an army of emojis: pink echo hearts, hearts with arrows in them, the classic red, the sparkly one, the one on fire (like mine when I find out I’m single again).
Valentine’s Day is often seen as a blissful holiday where romantic relationships are celebrated and where some are even officialized. However, has Valentine’s Day always been such a lovey-dovey celebration? How has it strayed from its original values, and what new idealizations has it adopted? Are those idealizations necessarily good, and if not, should this seemingly idyllic commemoration still be recognized?
Like Snow White’s apple, a bitter poison can be found underneath the sugar-coated surface. Similar to many other holidays (I’m looking at you, Christmas), Valentine’s Day has been manipulated by big corporations to rake in more profit than love. As soon as holidays such as New Year’s, Hanukkah, and Christmas end, supermarkets like Walmart, Target, and Hannaford begin to deck their halls with various hot-pink sweaters, heart-shaped containers, and blood-red boxes of chocolates. You can’t even escape the impulse to purchase online.
Stores such as Shein, Tiffany & Co., and Macy’s are pushing out pastel Stanley dupes, discounted diamonds, and heart-print dresses faster than Eros can shoot his arrows. According to Michigan Daily, people spend up to 27 billion for the kiss-covered holiday. Even worse, NEEF reported that 18,000 tons of flowers were flown to the US, then transported through refrigerated trucks — burning up 25% more fuel than non-refrigerated flora. This hot-pink wave of capitalism is enough to make Cupid puke into his quiver.
Furthermore, Valentine’s Day helps to propagate gender roles in modern society. Especially in straight relationships, the male figure is expected to do everything: buying a rose bouquet, scheduling a fancy dinner, maybe even proposing. However, most in the female role aren’t as proactive in preparations for this holiday. To a certain extent, many relationships are set in a hunter-gatherer state — the masculine figure must go about hunting for a partner or gifts for their partner. In contrast, the feminine figure simply sits around. Sometimes, it may seem that only the feminine partners are recognized. At the same time, those who give feel that their actions are unreciprocated and thus that they aren’t as appreciated as their significant other.
While many aspects of these stereotypes have improved (for example, it is more common for females to propose now than a century ago), with the stigma given by Valentine’s Day, it is impossible to completely eradicate these values.
Valentine’s Day may also apply pressure on the single community to “get back into the game.” Social media has only increased society’s demand to get into a relationship, with couple trends and people flexing their special gifts left and right. Single people, whether by choice or not, are ridiculed on platforms such as TikTok and YouTube as “getting no play” or “having no rizz.” According to Psychology Today, out of over 2,000 singles, 51% felt pressure to be romantic, 43% to be in a relationship, and 42% to go on a date. As Valentine’s Day was originally meant to be a day filled with love, it doesn’t make sense for so many people nowadays to feel pressured and anxious about their personal situation.
As we delve deeper into the rose of Valentine’s Day, it makes sense to trace history back to its thorny stem. The earliest form, Lupercalia, was a pagan holiday celebrated by the Ancient Romans: a dog and a goat were sacrificed by men, and then women were whipped by the dead animals’ raw, bloody hides. The modern-day name stems from two martyrs, who were both named Valentine and killed by Emperor Claudius II on February 14th of different years. Later, as an attempt to spread Christianity, Pope Gelasius renamed Lupercalia Valentine’s Day in honor of the martyrs. So, in essence, we are simply celebrating a macabre event rebranded with overly decorated cards and roses as red as the blood that flowed centuries ago.
However, regardless of its origins, Valentine’s Day is also an opportunity for many couples to celebrate their love. Although love should be expressed regularly in small ways, it acts as a dedicated day for most people to show their affection for people they consider special. The day encourages people to go and tell their partners or others in their lives that they love and appreciate them. Easy as it is to get swept up in the newer consumerist traditions of the holiday, it serves as a reminder to take the day to spend time with a loved one. Never mind the flowers or chocolates, often the best gift is to give your time or effort to the recipient.
There is a reason that Valentine’s Day has persisted throughout time: we all love love. Try as you might to deny it, love is something that bonds the human race together. Almost everyone has felt love for someone in their life, whether it is a family member or a partner. It is one of the strongest and most understandable emotions. It’s also the basis for countless other holidays, from Christmas to Memorial Day. But Valentine’s Day is the only holiday of its level that seeks to promote romantic love in the same manner.
While you’re scrolling through your Instagram or Tiktok feed, the overload of red and pink and hearts may seem as though it is attempting to push you into a certain mindset, but there are so many other couples that have chosen to go eat dinner together in a special place or hand make a gift that holds a lot of meaning. Valentine’s Day is an occasion dedicated to those people: the ones who just want another excuse to enjoy each other’s company.
To combat the ever-growing pressure towards publicizing and trivializing the holiday, it may be a good idea to stay off of social media on the fourteenth and the days that lead up to it or to take the day off and spend time with people that you cherish — regardless of the role they play to you. Rather than buy your partner something extravagant, perhaps think about how they came into your life and why you value them and then tell them as much.
