PDA at Exeter
By WILLIAM INOUE ‘27
Officially defined as “public displays of affection,” PDA is not just a term but a common sight at Exeter. It has become a part of our daily lives, a familiar scene as we walk down the trails or certain parts of the library. The sight of couples showing affection in public is not uncommon, and it’s almost a given that we all know one or two such couples.
Coming from a school where public coupling was almost treated as a sin, it is still a big change for me to realize it is allowed at Exeter. In my previous school, the reasoning for this “ban” on PDA was that it would affect the students’ motivation and time at school. The administration also argued that PDA was inappropriate in an educational environment like a school. They would go so far as to notify parents if they even suspect that a student is showing PDA. So why doesn’t Exeter do the same?
While constructing this essay, I conversed with several students from schools such as Choate Rosemary Hall, Middlesex School, Mercersburg School, Kent School, and Loomis Chaffee school; the consensus was that PDA was prevalent throughout. From my analysis, I find that the root issue of this uncontrollable PDA arises from the size of the school. My previous school was a day school with only two hundred people in high school. It was much easier for teachers to locate and control PDA than at Exeter.
Another reason controlling PDA may prove to be difficult at Exeter may be the same reason it was almost impossible at my old school. Both schools underestimate the simple determination of students. For example, I know this one couple that would both choose to skip class on certain blocks to spend time together. I know another where they would claim that they are going to Student Council but in reality are not. It is from these examples that show if a student is determined, it is almost impossible for the school to do anything about it. If we combine this idea with the size of Exeter, we quickly realize that even if we wanted to control the PDA at Exeter, it might not even be possible.
So, the question of whether controlling PDA at Exeter is necessary arises. The short answer is no. Exeter, like any boarding school, functions as a microcosm of society. We each have our responsibilities, and part of that is the natural human desire to find a partner. This is a fundamental aspect of our social norms and behaviors. Since we are a boarding school, we must also recognize that students spend all their time at the school, essentially treating Exeter as a school and a “home.” This means that all the “affection” that a normal teenager would show at “home” would often be classified as PDA if done at Exeter.
Yet, contrary to what I have stated, it is also important to consider the implications PDA has on other people around the couple. While it is different for everyone, some people may feel uncomfortable or uneasy around a PDA. We still live in an academic environment where school and academics should be at the forefront of everything.
The acronym “PDA” is an interesting one, as we most often see it thrown around negatively, much too often. While overdoing PDA can be annoying and inappropriate for academic environments, the conceptual idea itself is not inherently bad. Instead of Exeter “banning” PDA like my old school, it should be up to the students to make good decisions and use their critical thinking skills to decide whether the affection they are showing in public is actively harming someone else. If no person is hurt, then there is no issue with PDA as it is almost a natural part of human nature, something that would be much more common in the real world.