On “Speak About It”
By LAUREN LEE ‘26
Content Warning: This article involves references to sexual assault and misconduct. The Academy lists a number of resources on https://www.exeter.edu/about-us/our-commitment-safety. If helpful, please seek confidential help at the National Sexual Assault Hotline at +1 (800) 656-4673, HAVEN 24/7 hotline at +1 (603) 994-SAFE (7233), or Counseling and Psychological Services through the Lamont Health and Wellness Center: +1 (603) 777-3420.
On Sept. 19, all preps and lowers were required to attend a presentation, supposedly centered around the topic of consent, organized by Speak About It - a “consent education and sexual assault prevention non-profit” based in Portland, ME. Due to the steady stream of reminder emails that crowded my inbox, I was well aware of this event. Though I was not excited to sit through an hour and thirty minutes of what was effectively another class block, I recognized the importance of this workshop.
Rape culture can be defined as an environment in which rape and sexual violence against women is normalized and excused in the media and popular culture. Rape culture is not a myth, and it is not simply about acts of sexual violence, but about cultural norms and institutions that protect rapists, shame victims, and demand that women make unreasonable sacrifices to avoid sexual assault. The failure of our school community has excused horrific violence. One example is the sexual abuse of two Exeter students by a former history teacher, Richard Schubart (he passed in 2019). In this instance, a victim had confided in her twin sister who then informed her advisor, David Weber, who told the Boston Globe that he “did not recall the conversation.” Another case: the sexual assault of a 16-year-old girl by a male student. In this instance, Exeter officials told the Globe they never knew about the alleged assault. In this instance, the victim committed suicide. Time and time again, young girls fall victim to men in positions of power. When I first found out about the charges against Jerzy Kaminski, I could not believe what I was reading. The Academy was supposed to be above all that. If not protecting the most sacred safety of its student body, what was the school’s 1.15 billion dollar endowment being used for? There is clearly a pattern - both in the decisions of the administration and in the behavior of students who believe that they can get away with their choices based on the nonaction that they have seen thus far.
Walking into the assembly hall that Monday, I immediately felt an odd sense of nonchalance from both the presenters and the student body. I didn’t expect the big group of preps and lowers to file into the building in a single file line, but I expected the chatter to die down after the presenter introduced herself. It did not. The presenter tried to be relatable and funny—I can appreciate the effort, but I feel her tone and actions were not suitable for such a serious and important discussion. Her tone of voice and manner in which she began to address the main concepts did not give the topics the weight they deserved and almost invited side conversations. Additionally, she also mentioned that students could text an anonymous burner line with questions. This may seem helpful in theory, but in practice simply allowed for jokes and rude comments to crowd out real, important questions that some students had. A friend of mine told me that her question was not properly addressed nor responded to in a timely manner. Put in simple terms, despite their positive intentions, the organizers of this seminar did not do enough.
However, what surprised me the most was the preps’ and lowers’ reaction to the presenter and the concepts that were being “explained.” It was plain to see that students were not taking the seminar seriously. After every few sentences, some student would stick their hand in the air and utter a meaningless question. The students next to them, of course, erupted into bouts of uncontrollable laughter. Soon, the entire audience would begin to applaud. The assembly hall became a cacophony of noise. On this day, that noise silenced voices that needed to be heard. In all honesty, I was horrified. I thought to myself: “Is this really one of the most prestigious schools in America?” I didn’t expect this presentation to be like a lecture by any means, but I expected our grades to conduct ourselves in a respectful manner. Instead of opening our mouths and screaming whatever we feel like saying at any given moment, I implore our readers to try and absorb and understand the information—to empathize with whoever is sharing. Rape culture is a result of misogynistic ideals, entrenched social norms, and a lack of awareness. It’s really not that complicated - don’t be human trash. We at Exeter are given a unique opportunity and privilege to learn from individuals from every quarter. Let’s not waste this chance to become educated, open-minded, empathetic human beings.
