Holiday Commercialism at Exeter
By CHARLOTTE DASSORI ‘26
At Exeter, it’s no secret that we are all constantly aware of those around us. Whether we’re complimenting a classmate’s outfit, doing our skincare with them in the dorm bathroom, or getting a visitation and coming up to their room, we have a non-stop view into our peers’ lives, including their stuff. And, as the holidays roll around and we make our wish lists, many Exeter students find themselves recalling the sweatshirt our friend was wearing, their moisturizer brand, or the fancy new water bottle proudly displayed on their desk.
Of course, as trends go, that friend likely won’t be the only person we see on campus with those items. Someone else in our history class will be raving about the same hair product, and we’ll pass four people in a row on the paths with the same shoes on. Social media only amplifies this effect when our feeds are full of wish list suggestions chock-full of the products we see splashed across campus. All this influence adds up—and as teenagers, many of us will want to have the same things as our friends, to fit in with what’s “in” at school. And when given the chance to ask for our hearts’ desires around the holidays, it seems that, often, what we wish for the most is what everyone else already has.
This culture of conformity is now inextricably mixed with consumerism, and we find ourselves buying things we know will be out of fashion in only a month or two. But because we value these gifts for the message they send to others rather than what they mean to us personally, two years of fitting in seems like a pretty good trade for something that could otherwise isolate us from our friends and school community. After all, the same way that we are making note of our peers’ belongings, it feels like they are examining us back, picking apart our backpack brands, Ugg shapes, and necklace stacks.
By taking out part of the individuality of our requested gifts, not only do we make them less meaningful for ourselves, but we also subtract from the personal nature of gift-giving around the holidays. When everyone asks for a variation of the same five presents, we lose the joy of picking out the perfect surprise for our friends and family. And while the line between individuality and trendiness is always a tricky one to toe, the risk feels higher when we as a community are so perceptive of what others have. It is safer, then, to stick with what we know will be successful: what our peers like.
However, when many of the popular items are at a higher price point, the pressure to fit in can begin to outweigh the gratification we get from knowing we are en vogue. Keeping up with ever-evolving trends demands deep pockets and the constant surveillance of our peers, which isn’t exactly sustainable. Exchanging exclamations of approval for our classmates’ new acquisitions, especially when they are virtually the same as ours, can get old, and it only leaves us with a further comparison of who had picked the better color.
Looking forward to our upcoming birthdays or next year’s holiday season, we may want to keep in mind how microtrends, the internet, and Exeter’s overall culture of conformity affect our gift selections. While, of course, there is no real harm in asking for the same things as everyone else, requesting something new is often a great way to stand out positively. Trying different products from those same beloved brands, borrowing something from a friend to make sure we really love it before buying it for ourselves or looking into future trend predictions are all good ways to make sure we’re asking for things that catch our eyes because we actually like them, not because we’ve seen ten different people holding them at Elm.
