Culture of Competition at Exeter
By PHIN GIBBS ‘25
As Harper Lee once said, “You rarely win, but sometimes you do.” This quote speaks to the reality of competition and the unpredictability of success at Exeter and in life. “Winning” is far from a guarantee and often requires hard work, dedication, and a bit of luck. The classical definition of “winning” is when one achieves success by defeating another person. Getting a better grade on a math test, starting for a varsity team, winning the lead part in the musical, and being awarded a club co-head position, this “winning” is a driving force at Exeter and facilitates a toxic culture: all students share a common warrior mentality. Everyone for themselves, and if you stop to help someone else, another overtakes you.
The problem with the traditional winning culture is that it can lead to a toxic and hyper-competitive environment that is detrimental to students’ mental health and well-being. It can create a sense of pressure to perform constantly at a high level, leading to stress, anxiety, and burnout. This culture can also breed a sense of isolation and individualism, as students feel that they must prioritize their success over the needs and goals of their peers.
Moreover, the traditional winning culture often promotes a narrow and limiting definition of success that fails to recognize students’ diverse talents, passions, and aspirations. This definition of success entails getting good grades, starting a varsity sport, and being named a leader for one of the major clubs. This can create a sense of hierarchy and exclusivity that marginalizes individuals who do not fit into the traditional mold of success.
“The problem with the traditional winning culture is that it can lead to a toxic and hyper-competitive environment that is detrimental to students’ mental health and well-being.”
Additionally, the focus on winning can lead to a fear of failure that prevents students from taking risks and pursuing their passions. This fear of failure can inhibit creativity and prevent students from exploring their full potential.
Furthermore, the traditional winning culture can create a sense of entitlement and arrogance among those deemed successful, leading to a lack of empathy and compassion for others. Thhis can also promote a sense of superiority over one’s peers and a disregard for the needs and goals of others.
Overall, the problem with the traditional winning culture is that it fails to promote personal growth, resilience, and community and instead prioritizes external validation and recognition at any cost. To create a healthier and more supportive environment, we must challenge this culture and redefine winning to include personal growth, inclusivity, and community.
To create a healthy culture of competition at Exeter, we must first recognize that success and winning come in many different forms and that each student’s journey is unique. Success can be defined as achieving personal goals, learning from mistakes, and developing resilience in the face of adversity.
A healthy culture of competition should prioritize personal growth and community over external validation and recognition. It should celebrate not just the achievements of individuals but also the collective accomplishments of groups and teams. By focusing on teamwork and collaboration, students can learn to value and respect the diverse talents and perspectives of their peers. They can learn to work together towards a common goal, building lasting relationships and a sense of community in the process.
One way to promote a healthy culture of competition is to provide opportunities for students to engage in activities outside their comfort zones. By challenging themselves and trying new things, students can develop new skills and broaden their horizons. They can learn to embrace failure as a natural part of the learning process and develop the resilience and grit necessary to overcome obstacles.
Another way to foster a healthy culture of competition is to encourage students to support and uplift one another. We must recognize that success is not a zero-sum game and that one person’s achievement does not diminish the accomplishments of others.
Additionally, we must promote a culture of empathy and understanding, recognizing that each student faces unique challenges and struggles. By cultivating a sense of compassion and empathy for one another, students can learn to value each other as individuals and create a more inclusive and supportive community.
To create a healthy culture of competition, we must also acknowledge and address the issues of privilege and inequality that exist within our community. We must work to create a more equitable and just enviornment where everyone has access to the resources and opportunities necessary to succeed. This requires examining our own biases and privileges and actively working to dismantle systems of oppression and inequality.
“I am excited for the day that a culture of winning at Exeter is focused on self-improvement and celebration of others’ successes.”
Furthermore, we must prioritize the mental health and well-being of students, recognizing that success and achievement can come at a cost. We must provide resources and support for students who are struggling with mental health issues and promote a culture of self-care and balance.
I am excited for the day that a culture of winning at Exeter is focused on self-improvement and celebration of others’ successes, and we are proud when one of our own Exonians gets into a prestigious college. To end with a quote from the famous Dr. Seuss children’s book, Oh the places you’ll Go, “Fame you’ll be famous, as famous as can be, with everyone watching you win on TV, Except when they don’t because sometimes they won’t.” This quote epitomizes the current culture of success at Exeter and urges the change that must occur.
Ava Zhao / The Exonian via Midjourney