College Doesn't Have to be So Stressful

By: Angela Zhang

From Feb. 14 to 16, parents of uppers traveled from around the globe to Phillips Exeter Academy for Upper College Weekend. Current uppers can expect to begin college applications within the next few months, and to this end, Exeter’s College Counseling Office used the weekend to prepare parents and students for the daunting admission process ahead. 

With so much emphasis placed on college admissions nowadays, it is obvious that the college process affects Exonians across campus. We are fierce in caliber, have talents and interests in a variety of fields and, most importantly, innately strive for only the best. In short, Exonians are people who aim for success, and, for most of us, this means continuing our studies at a prestigious university. 

As college acceptance rates decrease and standards increase, the admissions process is growing to be more difficult and stressful. Seniors often complain, understandably, about the difficulties of writing applications and the anxiety of waiting for decisions exacerbates their already fast-paced, busy lives. The stress of the college admission process is perhaps best outlined in the sheer relief and joy a senior feels when they finally get that acceptance note. 

Uppers need to mentally prepare for what they will soon experience, narrow down their prospective school lists and begin facing the beast ahead. Lowers and preps are not affected as much by the prospect of college, but, nevertheless, the thought lingers in their head, and the effects of college hover over the lives of every Exonian.

I strongly, however, believe the college process should not cause so much stress, nor should it ever be the driving force behind any student’s learning experience. 

Oftentimes, students choose courses by asking themselves an insidious question: “What will colleges see on my transcript?” 

Students hesitate when choosing courses: do they pursue interests and risk having an “unimpressive” course load, or do they sacrifice their passions to take courses that may seem impressive on a transcript? Many students, at Exeter and beyond, choose the latter. 

I suppose this is not unreasonable—the selection and completion of certain “rigorous” courses does demonstrate a student’s ability and interests. It is not, however, the best mindset to be in when selecting courses. 

For example, many students at my old public high school stacked their schedules with Advanced Placement courses (tiring themselves out in the process). These students even took courses they had no interest in as a means of proving to colleges they are competent. 

Students also partake in a multitude of clubs they may have no interest in but they join anyway for the sake of racking up a college resume. It’s unfortunate to see students feel pressured to join certain clubs or take certain courses in order to seem more impressive for a college. 

It is important to remember that we are receiving an education for our own good. Thus, we should base our choices not on what we think would impress a college, but rather on what we know will satisfy our passions. Besides, if people are genuinely passionate about the courses they take and the clubs they join, it will make writing about these interests so much easier and much less stressful when it comes time to apply for college. 

I believe Exeter does recognize and address the stresses that come with the college process. The school encourages students to take advantage of the full learning experience instead of just studying for the sake of college. Exeter stresses that younger students should not worry about standardized testing until later years. The school teaches that students should explore as many fields as possible through participating in clubs, enrolling in preferred courses and encountering peers and mentors. 

The Deed of Gift perfectly demonstrates this ideal. It states that the Academy’s responsibility is to teach students “not only in the English and Latin grammar, writing, arithmetic, and those sciences wherein they are commonly taught, but more especially to learn them the great end and real business of living.” 

A laser and sole focus on academics is not the “real business of living.” Instead, it is the ability to balance work, social life and health—all while developing passions—that comprises this business. I truly believe Exeter allows Exonians to practice that “real business of living,” if only we choose to.

If I were at my public high school, I don’t think I would be studying to enrich my learning; instead, I would be in a fierce, academic-based competition against peers. My friends back home, like many other students around the world, have studied with the prospect of college driving their education. I am grateful for Exeter’s desire to steer us away from this college-centered mindset and encourage us to learn for the sake of enhancing our goodness and knowledge.

Overall, it is not reasonable for college admissions to control our lives. Of course, depending on what we want to do with our futures, college can play a major role in the years to come. 

But surely it should not limit us. 

There is more than one path to success. Many of them don’t include college. As for those paths that do, we don’t have to give up our lives for it, choose “impressive” classes for the sake of it or be in the “most competitive” clubs. We can do things for our own benefit.

Lastly, a reminder that many Exonians need right now: which college you attend will not determine your worth; it will not define your success. What matters is your experience—here at Exeter and beyond—and you can only get that experience by exploring and pursuing your passions. Besides, college doesn’t last our whole lives. Four years (maybe five, maybe eight if we pursue a master’s degree and a doctorate) are not our whole lives. We should not be so overbearingly stressed about and treat the college process as if it will set our future in stone. 

We have so much to live for, so much to experience, so much to explore. No matter how stressful the college admissions process is, or no matter how stressful the prospect of your future makes you, rest assured that with hard work and dedication to our passions, we will all be just fine.