Dear White People

The start of the school year has been great. Friends are reconnecting, classes are inspiring and sports practices are invigorating. This is what many students on campus feel, but it is by no means a feeling shared by all. Of course, the Exeter experience, like all experiences, is not the same for everyone. But there are certain differences in experience that should not be tolerated. Exeter’s first black student was not admitted until Sept. 1, 1858, 77 years after it was founded. Of course, times are different now, and Exeter has come a long way, with 46 percent of the population reporting as non-white. Yet, after more than 150 years of diversifying our community, Exeter still has a long way to go.I draw the title of this article from Dear White People, a Netflix series that brings awareness to many important issues that exist in predominantly white institutions and shares my objective in writing this op-ed.The title “Dear White People” is, in a sense, a misnomer, because the message I hope to deliver is pertinent to all Exonians and not just the white student population. Rather, my aim is to address the white-dominant culture that has existed at the Academy since its genesis and to bring awareness to the racism and inequality ingrained within this institution. Racism is a part of white dominant culture, and, because of this, the two realities cannot and must not be confronted separately. I cannot say that I know, nor understand, the experience of white students, but what I do know is that their stories, words and experiences constantly overshadow those of people of color. History has demonstrated this time and time again, such as writer Ida B. Wells, who spoke against racial inequality but was only acknowledged after her lifetime . This silence of black and brown voices still occurs today in our society. I am dedicating this article to the students of color; the students whose identities are rarely seen on campus; the students who feel that their identities are not cherished; the students who feel misplaced. For you, I hope that reading this article makes you feel heard and appreciated, as it has helped me to feel while writing it.No person’s experience is the same as another’s, but I make no generalization when saying that students of color are one of the most marginalized groups at Exeter. No matter the individual experience, Asian, Black, Latinx and multi-racial identities do not conform to the white majority and are, consequently, the minority.Consider this: as a new student to Exeter, you arrive at a beautiful community of like-minded people. Sports are fun, classes are stimulating and the people make you feel like Exeter is a home rather than a school. Your life is filled with the joy and stress Exeter brings, but you couldn’t imagine a better place. Of course, reality is never this utopic. I believe that there is not one person who has had the perfect Exeter experience, but it is important to realize some experiences are more perfect than others. What I mean by perfect is not the absence of problems, but, rather, the abundance of privilege. There are many different privileges, and each of us possess them. However, I must make a distinction between societal privileges and personal privileges. Personal privileges are small, such as having H as your free format. Anyone can obtain this, but not everyone has it. Societal privileges exist on a much larger scale. For example, being a kid in the Bronx, the level of education accessible to me was far lower than the education upper-class students had access to—a type of economic privilege. To have the perfect Exonian experience is to benefit from racial privilege. As I mentioned before, my educational disadvantage stemmed from my financial disadvantage, and this can be the same for many people, no matter their race. However, these disadvantages come from a larger system of racial inequality that has existed for centuries and evolved greatly overtime. Thus, in order to make Exeter equitable and fair for all, we must understand that Exeter must address its racial history and confront the inequity in the now. White privilege is the Exeter Dream. Do not get me wrong—being white at Exeter does not mean your experience is easy. Yet, to be white at Exeter is to be able to go to class and feel acknowledged and not tokenized, to not have people ask to touch your hair, to cross the street and not be called the n word and to feel you can show emotion and passion without being perceived as angry. I have experienced every one of these things, and I am not the only one. But did you know this? The lack of awareness of Exeter’s racial climate is a privilege in itself. Moreover, as I have witnessed, rarely do the privileged spend energy and time to fix a problem that doesn’t pertain to their lives. Students of color experience a completely different Exeter than white students, and, not only are some people unaware, but most don’t act. For those whose experience more closely mirrors the idealized “Dream”—do you notice when a black girl gives a solution to a math problem but is ignored, and her white peer is credited? Do you notice when a Latinx student speaks Spanish, and someone tells them to speak American? These things have happened and continue to happen, and it can be scary to act in the moment. But what about after? Do you try to comfort the person? It’s ingrained within our beliefs that some things are beyond our control, but we do have control over our own actions. You can choose to help, support, even advocate. The inequity and prejudice within Exeter’s community affects the lives of students of color every day. To become the community we hope to be, we have to alter this reality.The first step of achieving racial equity is to acknowledge that Exeter has issues to begin with. During the student sit-in in the spring of 2017, Principal McFarlane was handed a proposal for racial equity and inclusion. From 2017 until now, there have been discussions, meetings and events to try and improve the conditions at Exeter. I acknowledge and deeply appreciate the work that has been done. Appreciation, however, should not excuse complacency. We cannot accept the little steps taken to be enough when, after more than 250 years, we should be expecting leaps. Awareness is not enough. Although awareness is a step in the right direction, it cannot be the only thing we hold ourselves accountable for. In order for Exeter to become a real community, where everyone feels valued and united, we must care. Although we pride ourselves on fostering empathy, Exeter has been lacking in this regard. Rather than simply viewing these steps as something we do for an abstract idea of justice, we must see it as helping ourselves. The care one would show for their friend in their time of need is the same care we must show for these issues.We choose to be Exonians every day as we wake and go to class. Exeter is a place full of opportunity for growth, success and happiness. An institution that honors its values of “knowledge and goodness” should not feature racial inequity and exclusion. It is important for every Exonian, white or not, to not only acknowledge that Exeter has racial issues, but to turn that acknowledgment into empathy. Having empathy, connecting to one another and understanding each other’s experience is fundamental if Exeter is to become inclusive and accepting. We are not people forced to be in each other’s company. We choose to be part of a community, and, as such, it is everyone’s responsibility to improve the experience of students of color.