The Significance of "I Love You"
Saying “I love you” is a big step in every relationship. There are so many movies on couples building up the courage to say the phrase to each other that it’s become quite the cliché; the scene where the guy comes running into a room proclaiming his love for the woman and making a fool of himself, but not caring because he’s so overcome with his love, is a Hollywood classic. There are Buzzfeed quizzes that help one decide whether one is in love with their partner, and articles on helping people decide whether or not it’s time to say to their partner “I love you.” In every relationship, one reaches a point where they confront their feelings for the other person, and come to accept those feelings. There’s this idea that saying those three simple words can make or break a relationship, whether it be a friendship, or a romantic relationship.
However, people now say “I love you” like they say “How are you?” or “Hello”. I’ve seen people throwing their arms around their friends and screaming “I love you, babe!” I’ve seen people saying “Love you too!” to their friends after doing something to annoy them. People say it to their friends as though it’s a joke, and to them, it is. People say it as though it means nothing at all, and I think that shouldn’t happen.
It is my personal opinion that saying “I love you” to someone is one of the most significant steps one can take in a relationship, and that those three simple words carry a lot of weight. Loving someone is something that takes time, and happens once one’s relationship is substantially complex and deep. If somebody loves someone and they love them back, then they inspire each other, and need each other around and available because they are part of each other’s support systems. People who love each other understand each other and are open to each other, and are therefore completely and utterly vulnerable to each other. Loving someone, and being secure enough to tell a person that they love them, should a bigger deal than it is today. And this isn’t just limited to couples; this also applies to friends, and anyone else one may think they love. I’m not judging anyone for what their definition of love is. If you truly do believe you love someone, and have only known them for a few weeks then that’s your business. If you don’t agree at all with the definition of love I have, which I outlined in the previous paragraph, then that’s absolutely fine too. Technically, falling in love with someone is just dopamine, along with other chemicals associated to the reward system flooding the brain, which evokes feelings of passion and anxiety. The dictionary defines it as “an intense feeling of deep affection”. Whichever way you may define it, just remember to stick by that.
But if you’re a traditionalist–and, arguably, a hopeless romantic–like me, and you’re also throwing around “I love you” like it has no weight, then please reconsider what you’re doing. It does have weight. It’s almost as though by casually saying it, one is discrediting the people who are actually in love, and who are building up the courage to say that to someone they care very deeply about. It’s important to distinguish from simply being fond of someone to really loving them, because, as I mentioned before, it takes a secure relationship and courage for one to really confront their feelings and tell someone they truly love that they love them, because when they finally do say it, it’s a very vulnerable moment. Throwing “I love you” around to someone you may not truly love is just plain wrong, and is undermining those people who take a long time to say “I love you” to their partner, or friend.
And if you don’t love a person, then just tell them you like them. Send heart emojis. Send kissy face emojis. Actually kiss the person. Whatever it is you do, just please, don’t say you love someone unless you are absolutely sure that you really do.