A Message from an Alumna on Mr. Schubart

I, like many of my fellow Exonians, received the email from Principal MacFarlane yesterday morning and reacted with a mixture of surprise, shock and sadness. At Exeter, we often imagine that our cloak of knowledge and goodness protects us from the realities of the world, yet the truth is that we are as vulnerable as any community when it comes to dealing with its disappointments, challenges and obstacles.That said, while I knew Rick Schubart (who didn’t know Schubes?), I never had him as an instructor and our interaction was limited. My emotional attachment was a distant one, impersonal and remote.At least it was until Rev posted a controversial Facebook status update that indicated unreserved support for Mr. Schubart without mentioning the survivors. (I refer to this only because I’ve been told that the Exonian will separately mention this thread in another article; I would not have referred to it otherwise out of the immense amount of respect for Rev that I hold.)Rev represents some of my most cherished memories during my time at Exeter. And so I was disconcerted to see this wellrespected leader at Exeter post what appeared to be unequivocal support for a man that had harmed two members of our community.However, the strength of this community is resolute, and Rev’s initial post gave way to a respectful discussion about sexual misconduct. And as difficult as it was, I somehow wound up representing many of the voices that felt disempowered by the flood of support for someone who has admitted misconduct to a degree that required that the school strip him of his emeritus status and ban him from campus.Sexual misconduct is often not about “sex” so much as it is about power and control. The reason that we frown upon relationships between students and teachers is not because we do not think that an 18-year old cannot inherently make emotionally-mature decisions, but because the power dynamic between the two makes consent problematic if not impossible. Many perpetrators are described as “good” people.Good people can do terrible things. Rick Schubart was an important mentor to many of the students who attended Exeter and he also very clearly violated the duty that he had to protect the students under his care. And while I understand the instinct to protect someone you care about and think highly of, to want to continue to hold this person in high regard, there is a responsibility that we also have to the two students who came forward—and to the other members of our community who have experienced this kind of trauma—to acknowledge that their pain is real, it is valid, it is worthy of our consideration and support.Many of us on the thread were confronted by an uncomfortable and unpleasant truth: that some members of communities are granted unequivocal support and benefit of the doubt while others are not. It was difficult to read the thread and not conclude that Rick Schubart matters to the community and the students do not. And yet Exeter’s very existence is to educate, inspire, and guide these very students.I had to ask myself today why I felt the need to intervene on behalf of the survivors. I started a new job on Monday and a side project of mine launched on Kickstarter on Tuesday. This is not the week to be pulled into these discussions, to be distracted. I could have—should have—walked away from the whole thing.And yet. My rapist is popular, successful and accomplished. He coined a term that is now ubiquitous in the tech industry. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if I were to ever publicly name him, he would get the same support that I saw on today’s thread. And I think a part of me needed to know that if the survivors ever saw that thread, they would see that someone was backing them up.I don’t believe Rick Schubart is evil. I don’t even think that he is necessarily a horrible human being. Good people do terrible things. You can appreciate and love and support him while acknowledging that he is human, and therefore flawed, and that his behavior had terrible, terrible consequences. For that, we should all feel an immense, heavy sadness. But to do less than that, to support him while ignoring his actions, is to dismiss the pain of his survivors; it is to say to them that they don’t matter in our community as much as he does.