Day Studs Are Students Too
One in five Exonians is a day student. This is a significant number for an institution known throughout its history as a boarding school. While Exeter does its best to meet the needs of all students academically, athletically and socially, is there room for improvement in the way the school ensures that day students are fully integrated into all aspects of Exeter life?
Let me say that I, as a day student, have never been made to feel as a “lesser” Exonian simply because I don’t have a dorm room. I have felt just as welcome at the Harkness table, on the athletic field and with my friends as anyone living in Amen, Langdell or McConnell. Speaking only for myself and my day student friends who have shared their thoughts on this, we do not feel like second-class citizens at Exeter, nor do we feel as though we are excluded from the many experiences that Exeter offers all of its students. But are there some things the school could do to make life a little easier for those of us who don’t have our own personal space to which we can retreat during the day (i.e. a dorm room) or who spend up to an hour in the car travelling to and from campus each day.
One suggestion is to assign day students to dormitories for administrative and social purposes. Much of boarding students’ social lives revolve around their dorms and much of what goes on in the dorms promotes strong social bonding. Those events tend to strengthen friendships and are the essential and unique differences between the boarding school experience and the more common day school experience most U.S. high school students have. Exeter’s residential life web page recognizes this: “Most people stay in the same dorm until they graduate, so dorms become very tight and develop unique dorm traditions, which may involve extended periods of laughter, costumes, and/or pizza. When you’re new, dorms give you an instant pack of friends.” One of the regrets that day students may have is that they miss out on much of this. Admittedly, this is by choice because they applied as day students. Yet, assigning day students to dorms would add a valuable social experience they would otherwise miss. For new day students, they should not have to miss out on gaining “an instant pack of friends” if they have a dorm to go to occasionally. In addition, for shy or more reserved students, an affiliation with a dorm would provide them with opportunities to socialize with their peers outside of the classroom, club or athletic field. This social link would be an added assurance that all students, regardless of their personalities, would have a setting in which to connect with other Exonians.
At Exeter, while the Day Student Lounge at the Academy Center is spacious and functional, it is for many day students—especially preps—the only place in which they feel comfortable relaxing and socializing. Yet there, day students exclusively connect with other day students and not boarders.
While I have never felt excluded from entering the dormitories of my boarding friends, I think that a day student’s affiliation with a dormitory would help them become a larger part of dorm life that makes for a richer experience at Exeter. Whether it is feeling like one has a place to go to hang out during the day, or taking a more personal role in dorm social events—like Dunbar’s “Back in Black,” Abbot Casino or spring teas—assigning day students to dorms is a low-cost way to further integrate day students into Exeter’s residential life. And this would benefit all Exonians, both the day students who would like a dorm experience as well as the boarding students who would get to know day students better.
Is this the perfect (or the only) way to integrate day students more completely? Of course not. But over the past year and a half, I have come to know Exeter as a place where challenges and concerns are addressed. Smart, caring people work hard to provide students with opportunities and enriching experiences. In my opinion, integrating day students more fully into the Exeter social experience is an important and ongoing concern.
Again, the choice to experience Exeter as a day student is ours just as much as the choice to board at Exeter is the choice of four out of five Exonians. This does not mean, however, that the school should not consider some changes and continue its efforts to improve the lives of all Exonians.