Recognizing Exeter’s Pressures
Tuesday last week marked the third and final open-mic Student Council assembly for this year. The first one seemed too new and students took it as a joke, and the second one only brought up issues relevant to separate chunks of the campus. Yet this final one might have finally served the purpose many of us have yearned to see from it: bringing up everyday problems that extend to all parts of the campus and have been embedded in the culture for a long time.
The assembly started with two simple questions asked by the councils president to fuel the discussion: “How can we make Exeter a healthier place without reducing rigor?” and “What makes Exeter a great school academically, and what could make it a better learning environment?”
The first question immediately sparked purposeful discussions. After the Active Minds assembly at the end of the prior week, students were eager to talk about the mental health issues on campus. Speakers brought up important ways in which the Exeter bubble can cloak the mental disabilities that linger across our campus. It’s no secret our large workloads and competitive attitudes foster a hostile environment for students identified as bipolar or depressed, and it should no longer be treated as one.
As students continued to line up at the mics the discussion broadened into more far-reaching topics: Exeter’s long culture of competition, over-stressing and anxiety about college. While these topics seem obvious, they become so regular we often just accept them in our lives and forget about finding solutions for them. It is important for us to continuously remind ourselves of the flaws in our culture and to think of ways to make it better, even if the suggestions and ideas seem miniscule.
Yet one of the most important ideas came from lower Nada Zohayr, who addressed a possible solution to the stress Exeter’s culture can provide. She explained that in order to improve the learning environment here, we need to be more aware of the living environment, specifically how we treat people and their emotions. One way we could improve the living environment would to be to start validating people’s feelings rather than shutting them down because they don’t seem important enough.
The example she provided was powerful and commonly overlooked. Sometimes, as students, we will get caught up in our own over-burden of work that when we hear someone complain about a life that seems “easier,” we tend to shut them down. I believe this issue is important for us to address as a community. If someone is used to sleeping eight hours a night, and only sleeps six during one night, it can feel the same to them as another student who typically sleeps six and only slept four. Just because the number is higher doesn’t mean the emotion shouldn’t be credited.
The same can be applied to grades. If a student is used to scoring in the “A”range on math tests, but happens to recieve a “B” on one of them, he or she can feel the same feelings of regret or terror as a “B”range student getting a “C.” No matter the circumstance, there are no benefits from harshly telling the “A”range student to not complain about the “B” because you received a “C.” You should instead try to connect with and comfort the kid and show them their life isn’t that bad in a friendly manner.
This discussion of shutting down people’s feelings because their lives aren’t as “tough” led to another important issue in our culture.
At Exeter, people have a desire to make their lives harder. We get a sense of pleasure telling our friends the low amount of sleep we got one night, or talking about all of the different clubs we are involved with that are sucking away our time.
I’m just as guilty of it as any other student—just ask anyone in Cilley or The Exonian office. But after the assembly I felt inspired to complain less about my life and to try to take things slightly easier. Is there really anything wrong with wanting to sleep more? Or preferring dining hall meals over ramen? While it’s important for us to work hard, it’s also important for us to know our limits and for others to respect that. I have noticed more people talking about this issue after the assembly, and I hope more continue to do so.
Whether or not these discussions continue, it was nice to see them finally brought up. While I care about our E/a spirit and whether I will have to wear a tie, these previous topics of past open mic assemblies aren’t as deep-rooted as others in our strenuous culture. It is important for us to recognize the problems and ideals that shape our everyday life, and I hope to see more assemblies bring up these important parts of our culture in the future. ♥