Reflections After Vietnam
The Vietnam trip was fantastic. It is difficult not to enjoy warm, summer-like temperatures, top rated cruises with a jacuzzi complementing each room and four and five star hotels. I, as part of the chamber orchestra and concert choir, enjoyed the optimal quality of traditional Vietnamese food, in large, ornate restaurants during the spring break of 2015. I had the opportunity to perform in top concert halls, the best in all of Vietnam, with acoustics more apt for orchestras and choirs than all of the halls at Phillips Exeter Academy combined. I was able to enjoy the warm temperatures, and when it got too warm, there were cool temperatures inside the air conditioned buses, air conditioned hotels and air conditioned… everything.
Each city we stopped at offered something incredibly new and fascinating, whether it’d be a kayaking trip in a monkey-filled lagoon or a pedicab ride to the Imperial City in Hue city. Each hall we entered brought with it a standing ovation of cheery Vietnamese audience members, handing us bouquets of colorful flowers at the doors. Each concert we performed ended with an ear-shattering round of applause from the audience, kids and adults.
I can say with full confidence that I don’t regret anything I did on this trip; however, I do regret something I wasn’t able to do.
Next to these top rated cruises, next to these five star hotels, next to these top class restaurants, were slums. People were out drying their dirty, damp clothes on thin lines held together by broken, squeaking clippers. Children were playing with soccer balls made of socks until each strand fell apart. Adults, sitting on their ramshackle steps with hands on their chins, watched our fancy buses drive by.
This is the Vietnam that I missed; the Vietnam I chose to ignore. The Vietnam that Exeter visited was safe, rich and “for tourists.” This was obviously done in the best interest of all our health, comfort and wellbeing. It was to let us enjoy our spring break and relax. Even in the midst of a number of concerts, I was able to enjoy myself because of these things, and I want to thank everyone who made this trip possible for that.
However, I regret not interacting with those kids kicking the tattered soccer balls, the parents with whom I made eye contact from our bus and those houses that looked like they were about to fall apart. At the least, I could’ve asked how they were doing or showed them a wave.
But it’s odd that this ignorant behavior disappoints me because I act this way every day at Exeter. We act this way all the time at Exeter. When we pass by a fellow Exonians on the pathway, we might ignore them, or maybe if we’re in a good mood, we might say one word, “hello.” The conversation usually goes something like, “Hello, how are you?” to “I’m doing well, how about you?” and finally, “Good, thanks,” seems to be an automated response.
Is this truly an “interaction?” Do we genuinely care about how our fellow Exonians are doing? Or has it become a social custom to wave and ask how our days were? Each day, I find myself “interacting” with others, asking them empty questions. And in my humble opinion (some may disagree), that’s a problem.
In Vietnam, I voluntarily decided not to open my eyes and interact with the slums. I saw what was going on and then looked away like many other tourists. I met the people’s eyes and then turned my back. Maybe that’s why the tourists all wore sunglasses there: to avoid eye contact.
But at Exeter, it has to be different. We are one community. We should care for the people in our community. We should wave, say hello but do all these things with a genuine care for each other. This may seem like an impossible task in such a large campus, but if each member of the Exeter community reading this decides to truly care for others when asking, “how are you?” we’ll make a huge difference. There’s no doubt in my mind.
We live together; we suffer through Exeter academics together; we eat the same dining hall food together; we breathe the same, freezing Exeter air together; we participate in Harkness discussions together; we cheer “Big Red” together; we make up a community together. Let’s work together to care for each other more and to take off those sunglasses. Besides, it never seems to be sunny outside in Exeter anyways.