Careful Consideration
Non sibi. Every Exonian is familiar with the school motto meaning "not for oneself." As amiably peaceable, and unarguably necessary as this sounds, the CCO's (College Counseling Office) application of this philosophy seems contradictory at times.The core of their philosophy is this: If you’re applying to a school with an acceptance rate that’s less than ten percent, that school should be your first choice.Often, highly selective schools only offer a few spots to applicants from Exeter, so if an accepted student doesn’t decide to attend, the argument is that another qualified Exonian might have had that option in their place. As part of the system of checks and balances, this philosophy is certainly justified, but is it really necessary to reinforce the culture of competition already prevalent at Exeter, one that is inherent in the college application process? Does it need to be further impressed upon us that we are applying "against" each other? Non sibi is about being selfless—and that extends to maintaining a spirit of goodwill. As a senior asked in assembly, "At what point did we stop being happy about the successes of our friends?"Many seniors, strained over the college application process, clamp their mouths shut whenever the topic of college comes up. Withholding real worries, opinions, college essays and applications, the college application process is about packaging yourself, but it can’t have been intended as such an entirely solitary process. Long nights of writing college essays, entire high school careers building up to the final test in the applications for college—no one can blame the seniors. But highlighting non sibi in this way that pits Exonian against Exonian for a limited number of spots makes resentment easier, when the inevitable dashing or realizing of hopes come around in the spring. The philosophy reinforces the competition involved in getting into a good school, adding to the stress of the process, and has unintended repercussions. There is a difference between competition that helps the Exeter community and a destructive form of competition.And what of the seniors who may find themselves under increasing pressure to go to big-name schools? Too often, students find themselves blinded by the reputation of a school, as supposed to the environment on campus. If you apply and are accepted, you are then expected to attend an Ivy League university over a smaller college environment, the decision is almost made for you. The discouragement of rejecting more selective schools is understandable, but this frowning upon makes it so much more difficult for the seniors. While no one is rejecting the philosophy, the emphasis on non sibi must necessarily be yet another source of pressure.After all, when it comes down to it, college is the pursuit of further knowledge for oneself. By virtue of Exeter, we have been raised with the pressure to go to "top schools." This mindset includes keeping our doors open to opportunity–so the CCO is justified in encouraging Exeter’s seniors to consider more carefully before applying to the top schools. This is a justified goal, but it certainly reinforces a palpable tension that will only grow stronger by spring.