Against Exceptionalism

“Exeter Exceptionalism,” a term coined by Jay Lee ’15 and Catherine Zhu ’15 on these very pages a few weeks ago, summarizes the sentiments of Exonians who regard themselves as “better” than others by the pure distinction that they attend Phillips Exeter Academy. Exonians with such mindsets feel that they deserve executive job positions, high incomes, and ultimate respect: all simply for association to this school.When we talk to friends or family back home who complain about homework and school, many of us simply assume, “Oh, it can’t be that bad: it’s not Exeter.” While our school’s academic curriculum, intellectual environment, and standards of work ethic are often regarded as the most cutthroat and demanding in the country, arguing the validity of such a statement is irrelevant in this context. However, we must highlight the culture it can breed.Before we know it, we have embedded a particular perspective into our minds: in the most extreme scenarios, that no matter what others are experiencing, our struggles are harder, our triumphs are more worthy, and we are simply “better.” Combining that thought with the frequent reassurance that we are the “best and the brightest,” crafts a mindset of false superiority and enlightenment. Many students feel they have reached the ultimate pinnacle of understanding life after being at Exeter. While our school does prepare us with rigorous work, exposure to diverse cultures and ideas, and development of independence, some students fail to acknowledge that Exonians may too be equally ignorant to other ideals or phenomena. The inability to empathize with everyone misfortune on planet Earth isn’t a flaw; it’s natural. However, some students fail to draw this boundary. For whatever reason, many students believe in their ability they can relate to, dive into, and solve every issue that plagues the world.According to Karl Popper, “Our knowledge can only be finite, while our ignorance must necessarily be infinite.” In other words, we can only know so much, and part of the human dilemma is reconciling with the fact that we can’t know everything. We might not fully understand a completely separate issue a friend at home may be encountering. We do not fully understand the living conditions of third-world slums. We might not fully understand why we aren’t offered a position at that one company. We can devour articles, replay videos, and talk to those in those situations, but at the end of the day, they are not our struggles. They do not belong to us.The challenge of balancing this realization with compassion may sound like a contradiction, but the two components in fact complement each other quite well. We have to separate our feelings from the reality that surrounds us. Our emotions help us to feel sadness and bridge understanding. The epiphany of realizing that not all problems are a task-list for bright-eyed prep school grads is essential. It is still our duty to feel for people and offer advice, help, and/or attention. For this day and age, however, for some reason, maybe such conversations include “Yeah, I know you how feel,” or “me, too.” Once again, the validity of the statements is irrelevant. Now, applying the beliefs of Exeter Exceptionalism even one level further, we see that the society norm is to digest a situation and relate it back to your life– as if you were some sort of benchmark to which other people stack up. While this emphasizes the importance of trying to build understanding, we should know that it’s okay not to be able to relate. We can offer suggestions and advice, but we don’t always have to have the answer.The ignorance “Exeter Exceptionalism” prompts us to place ourselves at the center of each situation we encounter. By admitting that we aren’t knowledgeable of every fact, exposed to every condition, or capable of any emotion, we aren’t distancing ourselves; we’re bringing ourselves closer to truth and reality. Exceptionalism in general often places the “special” ones at the center of orbit in any scenario and inhibits their senses of perspective. Removing ourselves for a second and trying to simply digest a scenario is difficult, but we must aim to set ourselves to this standard. Our ability to recognize that we don’t have all the answers might just lead us to finding out a few more.