What's the "I" in Identity?

Society and Exeter alike place heavy emphasis on the concept of “identity.” Most people are conscious and often concerned about who they are, how people perceive them, and what implications those perceptions might have. Some may claim they don’t think or care about this, but the truth is that this phenomenon is an inevitable building block of life. Identity is more than race, a category that often first comes to mind; it is rather a unique, constantly changing formula that abstractly defines a person, consisting of any biological, physical, mental or emotional qualities.Often emphasized for students who live far away or in places where prep school is almost never heard of, “boarding school kid” or even “the kid sent away” (occasionally in cruder terms) are tags tacked onto Exonians that can become part of our identities back home. Ironically, when placed back into our beloved New Hampshire town, we suddenly adopt associations that link us with home—and the very people who affiliate us not with them but with Exeter.Yes, we join clubs, make friends, and form our associations within the Academy community; but when we first introduce ourselves—in classes, on teams, at events—we always mention our respective hometowns, states or countries. You could argue that such an addition is for interest, clarity or just an attempt to help sort through all the different people in your head. But that’s essentially what identity is, right?Our identities are constantly changing. The factors and milestones by which people will associate with us will change as we evolve, as they evolve and as society (a collection of the entire population’s changes) evolves. New experiences, people and events can spark change within us, although it’s important to weigh their values. Especially around the category of race, attitudes that condone talks of no judgment, “it should be a nonfactor,” and wanting to be treated equally all very much exist. As Danna Shen ’15 and I mentioned in last week’s paper, we should accept that focuses on diversity should not indirectly breed stereotypes; still, consider just how much of your identity is tied into your race. When paired with how that has affected your nurturing, we’re ensured that race simply cannot be a nonfactor. Disregarding any of identity’s categories leaves a weak, incomplete picture.Whether it’s between home and Exeter, nature and nurture, or the importance of identity, balance is definitely a theme. We are products of where we’ve come from and where we are, what capabilities we possess and which of those have been tapped and how much or how little we consider our identities as we subconsciously develop them. Will we ever fit in with the “norm” anywhere or is that “anywhere” Exeter, seeing that uniqueness is the norm?The worlds inside and outside our bubble are equally and justly qualified to highlight the idea of identity, but it’s also our duty to decide how much of that we preserve and keep. On one hand, we may struggle to fit in with the thousand other teenagers on campus, but “finding our unique selves” and positively standing out is no breeze either. How much of pre-Exeter you do you want to retain and how much of that self do you simply want to wipe away? Take the go-to example of race again. Racism is terrible, but race and its positive associations aren’t at all; although there are clear boundaries on whether things are or aren’t acceptable, plenty of gray area still lies in the middle. Logically, if the world were to trend more towards the idea of race as a nonfactor, many issues of race could be solved, but other personal associations–to food, language, clothes–could easily weaken as a result. When it comes down to it, with any category of identity, which misconceptions are you willing to deal with to retain the qualities that have come to inherently define you?