Right to Be Speaks on Town Harassment; Student

By Lucy Jung, Catherine Wu, and Alaysha Zhang

On Oct. 11, non-profit organization Right to Be held an extended assembly for all students focusing on bystander intervention and conflict de-escalation. During this presentation, Right to Be shared five methods to support someone who is being harassed––Distract, Delegate, Document, Delay, and Direct, abbreviated as “the 5D’s.” 

Following the Right to Be assembly, dorm proctors hosted individual dorm meetings to review the information and clarified the “Document” method. By New Hampshire laws, individuals cannot record videos or audios of others without permission. 

Associate Dean of Multicultural Affairs Hadley Camilus emphasized the importance of the Right to Be assembly. “It’s never a single engagement that results in solving a problem of this scale, [but it’s a needed touchpoint] designed to shed light on a problem, raise awareness, and present students with different ways that they can respond,” Camilus said. 

“[A key] takeaway for students and adults is that we don’t all experience the town of Exeter similarly,” Camilus noted. “Some folks don’t have the slightest trepidation about walking around this town while others have to strategize carefully due to the very real prospect of being verbally accosted.”

Many students found that the assembly provided practical and widely applicable courses of action when faced with harassment. “The only piece of advice that I've heard before this training was [to] record the license plate of the car that drove by,” senior Asha Bryant said. “[That] never felt realistic, because I don’t expect [to be harassed, and] by the time that I would think to take out my phone and record the license plate, the [car] is way too far.”

Bryant continued, “I really appreciated this assembly because of how realistic it was, and I'm glad that we had it because harassment is something that students at this school face, and even away from Exeter, harassment is just something that's unfortunately part of life.”

“I think it's helpful for students to know [the 5D’s], because there’s the risk of something happening to you everywhere you go,” upper Ayman Naseer agreed. “It was a good thing to teach us those methods, because [not everyone] knew what to do and what the right steps are [when] faced with [harassment].”

“The assembly was a good start on the part of the Academy. Town harassment has been happening since forever but we’ve never even had assemblies about it before. Especially to students of color on campus, it’s important that we are hosting them and acknowledging it,” senior and Lamont Hall proctor Yasmin Salerno agreed. “A lot of people have given a lot of feedback and notes to hopefully improve the assembly in the coming years.” Salerno felt that the Academy-town relationship became more hostile following the COVID pandemic as Academy events became isolated. Further, she remarked that relationship between Exeter High School and Academy students have grown more tense as well. 

For Bryant, “Delegate” and “Delay” were the two most helpful methods for bystander intervention. “The [speakers] addressed the bystander effect which can be extremely dangerous in instances of harassment, where everyone thinks that someone else is contacting the police or someone else is contacting Campus Safety,” Bryant said. “Because of the bystander effect, oftentimes no [intervention occurs,] so I think delegating can play a crucial role.”

“Delay is also important because, as someone who's experienced harassment, it can feel very disempowering,” Bryant shared. “Someone checking in to say, ‘I saw what happened and that wasn't okay’ can mean a lot to the victim.”

On the other hand, some students felt that the information presented for the “Document” method was confusing. “I was told that I can record harassment, but I [actually] can't record people without consent,” Naseer said. 

Bryant agreed, adding that an uninformed “Document” approach can indirectly escalate the situation. “I like the idea of helping the victim gather evidence in case they want evidence of the harassment. However, I am concerned that due to New Hampshire law, you can't record video with audio unless you tell the harasser [that you are recording]. In these instances, there’s fear that the harasser is going to turn on them and it will become a violent situation,” Bryant added.

Some students felt that the assembly could’ve been more engaging and concise. “I think that the assembly was necessary, but it was too lengthy and repetitive for me,” upper Ryan Manley said. “I fear that this may have led to the important information not reaching people, because they got bored from seemingly random filler comments.”

“I loved the Speak About It show on sexual assault for uppers and seniors. If the Academy had done something like that for harassment scenarios to portray the 5Ds, it would’ve been a lot more engaging,” Manley continued.

“I don’t think the 5Ds were necessarily responsive to the kind of harassment that people experience on campus. Usually the form of harassment that I’ve experienced and I see most of the students experience is slurs or insults from someone that drives by them,” Salerno said. “With that kind of harassment, you can’t respond with most of the 5Ds. It would have been too fast to record. You can’t really distract them since they are only driving by. You can’t delegate it to anyone else around you. But those methods would be effective in confrontational situations or situations brought up in the assembly.” 

“In OMA and advisory conversations, people didn’t feel the assembly was that engaging. As POC, we experience this harassment very often the responses that you're telling us to make are’'t responsive to the kind of harassment that we’re receiving. So why do we have to be at this assembly? This was the kind of sentiment and discontent students shared.” Salerno continued. 

Senior and Asian Voices (AV) co-head Maxwell Li commented on the effects the assembly had on affinity spaces and students of color. “The assembly incited thoughtful discussions in AV about students’ interactions with the town, [but many students felt] that the assembly wasn’t especially helpful in bringing comfort,” Li said. “Although the speakers clarified that the issues were not our fault, students in AV left with the feeling that they had a burden in the situation.”

Senior and Amen Proctor Anjali Frary agreed. “I’m glad that the Academy is having a conversation with the students on town harassment and it was necessary because we haven’t had a conversation like this before. But some students didn’t find the assembly helpful because they felt that the pressure was put on them. The proctors were responsible for summarizing the information and clearing up confusion around the Document method after the assembly,” Frary said. 

To further address student harassment, some students hope to see the Academy engage with the townspeople directly. “I think [the Academy] should also take action and talk to the townspeople. At the end of the day, [we] shouldn't be afraid to go into town, and [we] shouldn’t have to worry about taking a picture every time someone harasses you,” Naseer said. “Yes, it is necessary to have this training, but the school should also be working to resolve the bigger issue as to what's going on in town.”

Naseer concluded, “It shouldn't be our responsibility to always be on guard. If the school is going to advertise the fact that [students can go into town], the town should be safe enough for students to go to without getting harassed.”