Community Remembers Late Student Matthew Clemson
Academy Memorial Scheduled for April 2
By the 145th Executive Board
If you are having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, or please refer to the other resources listed below:
Phillips Exeter Academy Counseling & Psychological Services (CAPS) - (603) 777-3420
HAVEN Violence Prevention and Support Services - (603) 994-7233
The Trevor Project (LGBTQ Youth Suicide Helpline) - Call (866) 488-7386, Text TREVOR to 1-202-304-1200
Phillips Exeter Academy Campus Safety – 603-777-4444
In the aftermath of upper Matthew Clemson’s death on Jan. 15, various communities in the Academy have come together in support of one another, from making flower arrangements to writing notes to Matthew’s family. Many dorms have been holding events to create spaces for people to come together and bond. The Academy also sent a group of 22 students and five faculty to Clemson’s hometown of Evanston, Illinois, on Jan. 28 to attend the private service for Matthew held by his family.
The Academy will hold its own memorial service for Matthew on Sunday, April 2. “With the help of some adults who knew Matthew well, we will be soliciting the input of students before Spring Break,” Reverend Bonnie-Jeanne Casey said. “Any student interested in helping to shape this service should not hesitate to reach out to me directly via email. I want to hear your ideas. We do ask that students remain mindful of the way the Clemson family would like us to honor their son and the need to be sensitive to the needs of the whole community.”
Principal William Rawson said he was grateful so many Exonians who knew and loved Matthew were able to attend the service in Illinois. “We had strong student and faculty representation at the service in Evanston and it was important to provide financial support for any student who needed it,” he said. “I was very grateful to be able to attend as well and bring with me letters to Matthew’s family written by our students. I very much wanted to be there to support Matthew’s family and be with our students and faculty.”
“Matthew’s death is a terrible tragedy that has hit us all hard. I have been heartened by the outpouring of love, caring, and support for Matthew’s family by our students and our entire community, and by the support students have shown for each other.”
The impact of the funeral service was potent. “What I understand is that everybody who could be present at the funeral remarked that it was very, very powerful,” Dean of Students Russell Weatherspoon said. “Matthew’s mother spoke, and there were lots of opportunities for our students to meet teenagers from Matthew’s community back in Evanston.”
Back at Exeter, Rawson reflected on how the community has come together during this time. “Matthew’s death is a terrible tragedy that has hit us all hard. I have been heartened by the outpouring of love, caring, and support for Matthew’s family by our students and our entire community, and by the support students have shown for each other,” he said. “I also am grateful for the many ways adults in our community — CAPS, our medical team, advisors, dorm faculty, teachers, coaches, spiritual leaders, our dining team, and many more — have supported students through this very difficult time.”
Assistant Principal Karen Lassey had similar sentiments. “I have been so grateful for and encouraged by the ways we have extended support to each other across our school community. It was evident every day, with individual and collective words and acts of care offered between and among adults and students. That support has extended beyond just our school community. I know that D-squared, for instance, saw a need and extended their hours to provide an additional comfortable place for students and adults to be together,” she said.
Matthew was a resident of Wentworth Hall and an avid explorer. As his obituary from Brewitt Funeral Home states, “a life-long skier and skilled rock-climber, Matthew loved the exhilaration of a powder day on the steep slopes of Big Sky, Montana, and he loved the deliberative and collaborative process of solving a challenging problem on the climbing wall. He also enjoyed hiking in Big Sky in the summer and the freedom of charging up the trail with his sister, friends, and dog.”
Matthew also had a fierce intellect and, in high school, developed a passion for writing. At Exeter, “he participated in Model United Nations, was co-head of the Philosophy Club, a member of the Climbing Club and the Robotics Team, a peer tutor for physics, served as a campus tour guide, and was a proud resident of Wentworth Hall. He was looking forward to studying philosophy in college,” his obituary states.
While being a strong intellectual, Matthew also had a passion for baseball. “He loved playing baseball, first for Evanston Baseball & Softball Association house teams, then with his wonderful teammates on the Evanston OrangeCats travel team, and finally on Exeter's JV baseball team.”
Matthew was able to combine his love for baseball and math as the commissioner of a long-running fantasy baseball league that required participants to read a voluminous rules package and participate in drafts for major and minor league players. “Matthew was a devoted Cubs fan who was fortunate to experience the 2016 World Series Championship season from Cubs Convention in January to the victory parade in November. He loved his first summer job last year at Wrigley Field as a member of the Premier Guest Services team,” as stated in his obituary.
Matthew is survived by his parents, Peter and Stephanie (Allin) Clemson, and his sister, Anna (all of Evanston, IL), his maternal grandmother Mary Ann Allin (Washington, DC), aunts and uncles Lyndon Allin (Washington, DC), Conrad (Christine) Clemson (Boston, MA), and Michael (Christine) Clemson (Leesburg, VA), as well as his cousins and extended family. He was predeceased by his beloved dog, Moose.
Academy Remembrances
Phillips Church and the Multifaith Center have transformed into daily, accessible spaces for students to express emotions. A bulletin board in the Multifaith Center posted cards “expressing sorrow and shock, gratitude and love,” Casey said. “[Another] area was a place for students to write a private card to Matthew’s parents. Over 100 kids chose to write tender messages to the Clemson family, and we shared them with Matthew’s parents.” Faculty faith group advisers have made themselves available for students, as well.
From knitting circles to movie nights and dumplings, many dorm faculty have organized dorm events in order to create space for the various communities to come together and bond in a time of shared grief.
Instructor in Modern Languages and New Hall dorm faculty Ning Zhou organized a dumpling night on Jan. 25, where he made dumplings for the dorm. Zhou explained the planning process behind the event: “I know the students in the dorm needed some events to gather together and also to support each other. And it was also around the time of the Lunar New Year, so I talked to Dr. Samuels and we got approval so that I could make the dumplings for the dorm. We had both pork dumplings and also vegetarian for students who do not eat meat. The event was held at 9:30 p.m., so there were a lot of students in the common room. They gathered around and were able to support each other and enjoy some food.”
“The saying, ‘through food, through communication,’ is something that came to mind when I planned this event. And in the dorm faculty and the proctor meetings, we also have some great ideas to organize more events like this one,” Zhou added.
Weatherspoon also touched on the logistics of sending the students to the service in Evanston. “The coordination involved a lot of people, including students, not least of all Cade McMillan. On the student’s side of things, Cade did a lot of work, drawing people together, sharing information, [and] being a liaison between the Clemson family and others.”
“There was also a tremendous amount of communication between Matthew’s parents and the principal and assistant principal,” Weatherspoon continued. “At Exeter and in Evanston, many people wanted to help. Several faculty members gladly accompanied the students. We arranged transportation between campus and Logan and then O’Hare and Evanston.”
Weatherspoon described some of the financial support the Academy was able to give to students. “For students who needed…to be able to get airline tickets, we also helped make that happen. We made reservations at the local Holiday Inn, where the girls stayed. One of the Clemsons’ friends, Ms. Fran Wiechert, opened a large space in her home to house the boys. Other friends offered to drive Matthew’s friends to the various locations.”
While reflecting on the community’s response, Weatherspoon said, “Grief takes time, and over time, we’ve seen lots and lots of examples of people, older and young, who’ve been sensitive, supportive, and gracious with each other. I would say that under normal circumstances, people try to do that, but certainly, over the last several weeks, it’s only been intensified.”
Similarly, Casey spoke on the importance of being in community during times of grief. “What has stuck with me in these difficult weeks has been how the community has taken great care to lead with love. People are still sad, and many are feeling the loss in different ways. Grief is not easy. It doesn't have a deadline. Grief can linger,” Casey said. “This is why the great generosity of spirit that the community has shown to each other has meant so much.”
“However, since Matthew’s passing will continue to be a part of our lives, the ways in which we, as a class, will want to honor him are going to change over time; we are growing up, too.”
Echoing Casey, Rawson noted how dorms across campus have found ways to support Wentworth.
“I found it moving to see the many ways various dorms have shown support for Wentworth, including by sending brownies, cookies, and other foods in the evenings,” Rawson, who is also on the Wentworth dorm team, said. “I know the Wentworth faculty have worked hard to support all the students in the dorm, but it also has been important to support the Wentworth faculty, which I and other administrators have sought to do in a number of ways.”
Casey expressed similar emotions in response to student support. “Students have been so supportive of Wentworth dorm and Matthew's friends on the baseball team and various clubs he was active in, it has been inspiring and comforting.”
Various clubs have taken initiative in honoring Matthew. “The Origami Club arranged to meet in the basement to make paper cranes together and the Flower [Arranging] Club donated an arrangement they created in memory of Matthew,” Casey said. “The expressions of sympathy have been so moving.”
In addition to various dorm events, the Executive Board of the Student Council met with the administration many times in the weeks following Matthew’s death to discuss immediate and long-term changes regarding academic workload expectations during this challenging time. Upper and Co-Secretary Kevin Treehan said Council reps met with school administrators and deans to present a nine-page document, “Regarding Recent Events,” that included a host of requests along with student testimonials.
“The paper itself was full of student testimonials to back up each point. Our requests centered around two things: actionable stuff in the immediate sense, and longer-term things to open up a dialogue on,” Treehan said. “One of the actionable things was current homework and major assignment expectations. The two main requests we had were to have homework excused through Tuesday, Jan. 24, and to cancel major assignments through Friday Jan. 27. We also wanted to improve community spaces and increase outreach for students by providing structured recreational opportunities over the weekend of Jan. 28, amending the absence excuse process for the week of Jan. 16.”
Treehan also noted the students wanted asynchronous therapy and education opportunities for the school, as well as bringing The Green Bandana Project to campus. Other long-term discussions involved improving the culture surrounding mental health on campus, the Community Conduct Committee (CCC) process, and protocols regarding crisis management.
President of Student Council Ale Murat touched on these long-term goals. “We talked about medical leave and basically being more transparent about the process, and we have our policy committee heads working on that. We're hopefully going to post some sort of information tree so people can see how the process works,” Murat said.
“The second long-term goal was analyzing how the CCC process affects student mental health. Although we don't know the specific factors that played into Matthew’s death, due to his experience with the CCC, a lot of students felt that that experience could have played a role. Even though we don’t know for sure, his passing made a lot of students who had gone through the process and a lot of students who felt isolated by the process speak out. We received a lot of student feedback regarding how it was very isolating and how students felt like there was absolutely no support from the Academy. So that process really needs to be reformed and looked at,” she added.
Driven by Student Council and in partnership with Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS), The Green Bandana Project, which was introduced this week to all students on Feb. 15 during Advisory Block, is a mental health awareness initiative devoted to raising awareness on suicide and suicide prevention. In this initiative, a green bandana is tied on student backpacks as a signal that identifies that student as a safe person to go to for suicide prevention resources and help that person get help.
Murat explained the reasoning for bringing this initiative to campus, “It was important for us to have an event like this because we really wanted to make sure that the student body knew that Student Council was working towards mental health and that we are hearing their concerns.”
In having all these discussions, Murat said that the main goal was for the Student Council to “serve the students. We are here to be your voice. After seeing the amount of people who responded to our stories and our surveys with very vivid testimony of what their experience was here at Exeter, we knew things needed to change. I feel like mental health struggles are almost normalized here. Everybody puts up a shield, because if you're not keeping up with work or if you're not fulfilling certain requirements, you're going to get left behind. And I feel like that is something that really concerns our board. We didn't want any student to feel like they were being left behind.”
Class of 2024 representatives William Soh, Corinne Blaise, and Nhan Phan have also been working with the administration to discuss ways to support the class. As the three representatives explained [in a written statement], “In the spring and later terms, the same on-campus support offered by CAPS and off-campus resources will continue to be available. From our discussions, the adults in the community are working to place the student experience at the forefront of their considerations. It is also important to note that the administration will also continue to look out for faculty and provide them with the resources they require.”
The representatives are also working on plans to memorialize and honor Matthew’s legacy. “We are working to establish traditions for the Class of 2024 to annually commemorate Matthew; we are going to make sure these traditions extend beyond this year, or the next year, or the year after, and that Matthew’s legacy will outlast our graduation,” Soh, Blaise, and Phan said.
“The Class of 2024 has also expressed a strong desire to be involved in the planning of the on-campus tribute for Matthew. No matter what, the most important stakeholder is the Clemson family; when making decisions, we will be sensitive to their wishes,” the representatives continued. “We have also had discussions with the administration on how we can continue to support Matthew’s family as a class, and it is important now that we keep them in our community and in our hearts as we continue to live our lives. Sending physical letters, pictures, or markers of milestones of the class can be a great way to let the Clemson family know that they are still part of the community. Tell them how you are doing, all the things that the class is celebrating; you living your best life is, in a lot of ways, helpful for the family. A lot of the time we think of big gestures; but it doesn’t have to be big. Small, everyday gestures can mean just as much as any grand vision.”
The representatives concluded with some guiding words for students. “It is important to understand that we, as young people, are experiencing a great shock. Right now, when we think of ways to honor Matthew’s memory, we may feel the pressure to approach it head-on.”
“However, since Matthew’s passing will continue to be a part of our lives, the ways in which we, as a class, will want to honor him are going to change over time; we are growing up, too.”
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Matthew’s memory to the Big Sky Community Organization of Big Sky, Montana. In the “Notes” section, please specify “Matthew Clemson Memorial Trail Fund.”
