Community Reflects on Lost Dorm Traditions

Senior Ella Parsons reminisces about a time when Amen Hall’s basement would come alive every winter with the beat of music and dance—the famous “Red Hot” Amen Rave, organized by upperclassmen in the dorm. Seniors would purchase inflatable pools and glow sticks as preps waited for their turn to invite a guest. However, the dance was discontinued after Parson’s prep year and the dorm faculty, concerned about fire hazards and the exclusive nature of the dance, curbed students’ efforts to revive it in the winter of 2017.

Exeter has a long history of dorm traditions. While some traditions have stood the test of time, the Academy has halted many others, like Amen Rave, due to concerns about student safety. Some dorms have since established new traditions, while others have tried to hang on to their age-old practices regardless.

“I feel like it has gotten to the point where even the simplest of traditions are no longer allowed,” [Parsons] said.

Soule Hall has long strived to improve its traditions. “Soule has had a bit of a spotty past in terms of hazing,” senior and Soule resident Adrian Venzon said. According to Venzon, hazing traditions were often a way for “upperclassmen to command respect,” but they were also an excuse for older students to abuse young students and promote a toxic dorm culture.

One past tradition involved Soule seniors setting up Evening Prayer dates between preps in their dorm and preps in traditionally girls’ dorms, such as Hoyt. Venzon, who opposed the tradition, considered the practice unhealthy and improper for all students. “Very quickly, you realize that the tradition is not very appropriate,” Venzon said. “One, it’s heteronormative, and, two, it’s just uncomfortable.”

However, Venzon noted that Soule is more infamous for other traditions, such as Prep Fight Club, in which “[Soule upperclassmen] would make the preps fight each other.” While Soule has had other similar traditions in the past, Venzon clarified that many have been exaggerated.

Soule Prep Fight Club and many other traditions were discontinued in 2016, as the upperclassmen that year sought to dismantle the hazing culture and foster a safer environment for lowerclassmen. “[The upperclassmen] really made an effort to command respect through being good people that we could look up to,” Venzon said. “They earned our respect instead of forcing it out of us through fear tactics.” 

The Academy took similar steps. “Since Soule was known to be rowdy before we came, the school purposely placed students that did not seem to be troublemakers to calm down the dorm or improve its reputation,” alumnus Brian Choi ’17 said.

According to Venzon, the administration did not place preps in Soule for the 2014–15 academic year in order to “kill the whole hazing tradition.” While Soule upperclassmen claim the dorm has improved in regards to hazing, they also said that the administration has recently held additional meetings with the dorm on this issue.

Several other traditions involving more minor rule-breaking have also been discontinued over the years. Abbot’s tradition of throwing water balloons out of the third floor was discontinued for disturbing other students and faculty members.

In his 12 years, Soule affiliate and English Instructor Duncan Holcomb noticed that many students felt the administration’s reinforcement and addition of strict regulations was an overreaction to harmless traditions. In particular, Holcomb recalled when the dorm faculty asked Dunbar to end its Romeo’s Pizza tradition.

In the early 2000s, Dunbar residents, excluding seniors, would walk to Romeo’s Pizza past check-in in what Holcomb described as “questionable outfits.” “They were walking around the streets of Exeter at 10:30 at night dressed in fishnet stocking[s],” Holcomb said. After several years, faculty decided the tradition was not appropriate.

Holcomb, who was in Dunbar at the time, subsequently helped begin a new tradition to replace the trip to Romeo’s Pizza. “We replaced it with other things like the Dunbar Dundaba, which they still do once a year,” Holcomb said. “They go down to the basement of the church and everyone sings or reads poetry.”

While many enjoy this new tradition, many Dunbar residents believed the Academy was being too protective when the walk to Romeo Pizza ended, according to Holcomb.

Amen has also had a history of streaking in the past, and Holcomb recalled students being upset when the school decided to end that tradition ten years ago. “The Amen students said, ‘What the hell? It's two in the morning. It's not a big deal. It's something we do. It's just wild and crazy,’” Holcomb said. “I think they felt like [the school] was [overreacting] a little bit… but I am not sure all the girls were really that into it.”

While Parson understands some traditions might be dangerous, she believes the Academy went too far by banning the Amen Rave. “I feel like it has gotten to the point where even the simplest of traditions are no longer allowed,” she said.

Considering the school’s long history of inappropriate traditions, however, English Instructor Alex Myers ’96 believes it is better to err on the safe side. Myers described a misogynistic tradition that took place when he was a student in Webster Hall. “There was a bench right in front of Webster and the popular senior boys would sit there and they would rate every girl who came past them. They'd yell out across the Quad, ‘8.5 today!’” he said. “At the time it was like, ‘Oh, boys being boys.’”

Myers, now a faculty resident of Webster Hall, noted that the alternative is to create new traditions, like Dunbar Dundaba, that create strong community bonds. “We have a new tradition that I've tried to start every Tuesday night at 10,” Myers said. “We have milk and cookies for the dorm and do games.”

Many Webster students have reacted positively to this new tradition. Hassane Fiteni, a new lower in Webster, commented, “Milk and Cookies was a nice study break on Tuesdays… It was a nice time to meet other people in the dorm.”

When asked what distinguishes good traditions from bad, Myers ultimately pointed to community impact. “It's the little things...where is it about manipulating power differential, and where is it about genuine dorm bonding.”