Pre-Game Visit Spurs Backlash
A former member of the boys’ varsity hockey team who was dismissed from the Academy last year returned to the boys’ locker room prior to the team’s Jan. 13 home game against Andover. Upon seeing the former student, Head Coach Dana Barbin did not require him to leave. After a complaint was registered by an anonymous student athlete, Barbin apologized for his actions, and has since spoken with the team on how to move forward, working in conjunction with Dean of Multicultural Affairs Sami Atif to craft conversations around the event.
Due to his expulsion from PEA after a racially insensitive action, the former student was barred from campus for one year after his leave, which had not yet passed by Jan. 13. The E-Book states that “students who are required to withdraw may not return to campus for one year without prior written approval of the Academy.” The former student himself emphasized that “Barbin and the hockey team had no knowledge of me going.” He also noted that he did not want Barbin or his former teammates to receive any backlash or punishment for their actions, willingly taking sole responsibility for his return.
According to Dean of Residential Life Arthur Cosgrove and Atif, no permission was granted for the former student’s return. However, both considered the fact that the former student in question visited campus only three weeks before the one year mark, after which he would again be allowed on campus. Because of this, Atif trusts that the mistake was unintentional. “I think one can understand that someone made a decision, not realizing that it was a full year,” Atif said.
"Upon reflection, I can see how his presence in our team room [for the] few minutes was hurtful to members of this community, and for that I apologize.”
The Exonian learned of the event after receiving an anonymous letter, also sent to Principal Lisa MacFarlane, postmarked Jan. 16, 2018. The writer, self-identified as a “student athlete,” noted that the incident occured one day after the school’s MLK Day observances, and three days before the nationally-recognized holiday in celebration of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s legacy. They also highlighted the student’s reason for expulsion and questioned the head coach’s response to racially-charged situations, asking, “How insensitive can Coach Barbin be by allowing a student that was expelled for a racial incident to [participate] in a school event on this particular weekend?”
Barbin referred to the frenetic energy in the locker room to explain why, in the moment, he did not comprehend that the former student’s presence could affect teammates. “By the time I entered the team room, [he] was already inside in animated conversation with his former teammates,” he said. “I chose not to embarrass [him] in that moment by asking him to leave immediately and went outside the room with my assistant coaches.”
Taking responsibility for his missteps, Barbin affirmed his regret and his commitment to reparation. “[He] was required to withdraw from Exeter for behavior that is unacceptable, behavior I would never condone. Upon reflection, I can see how his presence in our team room [for the] few minutes was hurtful to members of this community, and for that I apologize,” he said.
Senior and hockey co-captain Sam Stone also responded on behalf of the varsity hockey team. “We, as Exeter hockey, do not condone any of [the former student’s] actions and did not anticipate his arrival on campus,” he said. “We have discussed his wrongdoings as a team and are sorry that his arrival has caused discomfort among students and teachers.”
Accounts of what actually happened in the locker room are contradictory. Hockey player Mason* asserted that he was in the room while the events transpired. He said that the former student “walked in on his own really fast and started talking to the team,” emphasizing that no one was expecting it. “It was over in probably 25 to 30 seconds before anyone really had comprehended what was going on,” Mason said.
Although senior Ted Aiken agreed that the events that occurred quickly, he estimated that the episode took approximately two to five minutes. “From what I remember, I was just sitting in my stall in the locker room, and the door swung open with this kid, and I didn’t even know who he was,” he said. “He walked in and started saying ‘hi’ to all the kids that he knew from last year.”
Aiken said the former student began by addressing specific teammates, before speaking to the whole group. Aiken said that Barbin “happened to walk through while [the student] was still in the locker room,” adding that Barbin did, in fact, acknowledge the student. “Our coach walked into the locker room before the game. I think he saw [the student] and greeted him and then went on his way back out of the locker room,” Aiken said. “This was maybe two minutes after [the student] was in the locker room.”
Senior Cameron Speck, however, insisted that before the game, the coaches were “just going in and out, preoccupied with the upcoming game,” he said. “I don’t think they paid much attention.”
All involved agreed that Barbin had not brought the former student to campus nor sponsored any of his words to fellow teammates, while recognizing his failure to abide by school rules. Upper Matthew Bates, despite not being present during the incident, believed that his coach’s actions could have been more thoughtful. “I think [Barbin] made a mistake and he did not realize that there would be such backlash,” Bates said. “He said that if he had realized that people would be hurt by [the student] being back in the locker room, he would have told [him] that he needed to leave.”
After Atif read the letter, he approached Barbin, Assistant Hockey Coach Timothy Mitropolous and Athletic Director Shane LaPointe to understand what exactly had taken place and strategize with the adults on how to have a productive team conversation on this subject.
Atif clarified whether any inflammatory comments were uttered during the former student’s locker room visit. “I probed to see whether [the student] made any comments that may have caused any problems,” he said. “It seems from everything I have heard that his comments were typical comments that you would [make] before a hockey game against a rival.”
According to Track and Field Coach Olutoyin Augustus, Barbin was “understandably” troubled after hearing about the letter. “I respect that he was willing to reach out to colleagues about how to heal a situation that was obviously hurtful,” Augustus said. “He should have known that the situation would be hurtful, so there is some room for growth and skill development there.”
However, Augustus emphasized the importance of forgiveness and empathy. “We should give each other grace when mistakes are made and allow people to fix their wrongs. No individual should be judged only by their mistakes,” she said. Augustus looks forward to seeing Barbin and his team learn from this incident. “I know Barbin has begun a journey to understand diversity, equity and inclusion, as well as how his role as a coach can be instrumental in leading his white, male-dominated team to a place of improved cultural competency,” Augustus said.
Bates felt sympathetic for Barbin, saying, “He was put in a situation that anybody would make a mistake over. I think he feels badly about that, and I feel bad for him. I don’t think he should be blamed at all for anything.”
In response to this incident, Barbin spoke with his athletes after a game last Saturday. “[The hockey team] set aside time to discuss the DC case from a year ago,” Barbin said. “Important conversations will continue.”
Aiken admired Barbin’s willingness to engage in dialogue. “We talked about how [Barbin] said that if he could go back and do it again, he realizes that he made a mistake and that he should have definitely told the student to get off campus and leave the locker room because he wasn’t supposed to be there,” Aiken said. “But at the time, he didn’t really realize what was happening; he was more focused on the game.” Aiken affirmed that Barbin, along with the other hockey coaches, did not condone the former student’s behavior. “The coaches were in agreement that his actions did qualify for being kicked out for what he did.”
Mason also appreciated the conversation that Barbin and the other hockey coaches encouraged. The team then discussed the former student’s DC and how to be a more responsible and culturally, racially sensitive team. Of the coaches, Mason said,“they were very supportive if anyone had any concerns.”
*Name changed to protect anonymity