Parents of Uppers Travel to Campus for CCO Weekend

This weekend, Exeter’s College Counseling Office (CCO) invited parents and guardians of the class of 2018 to learn about the college process at Exeter, the changing admissions landscape and the nuances of selective college admissions.

CCO offered parents a variety of different workshops during the two-day program, such as a financial aid presentation by University of New Hampshire Associate Director of Financial Aid Jennifer Smith, a panel for international parents and a gap year and summer programs fair with over  30 organizations presenting gap year, summer and service-learning opportunities.

For the majority of parents, College Admissions Weekend began on Friday night at 7:00 p.m. with a keynote address delivered by clinical psychologist, consultant and New York Times bestselling author Dr. Michael Thompson. In his address, Thompson discussed appropriate parental involvement during the college application process.

Alix M. Freedman ‘75, mother of upper Emma Paltrow, felt that Thompson’s speech was a call for parents not to lose sight of the more important parts of their role. More specifically, Thompson hoped that all parents of members of the class of 2018 would resolve to focus on guiding their child’s development of strong character, rather than the prestige of the college their child ultimately attends.

“I thought that Dr. Thompson’s remarks were really important to remind us that the goal of parenting is trying to raise children who are loving, moral, independent and productive, and that the name of a particular college or university isn’t necessarily going to produce those characteristics,” Freedman said. As a parent, she felt that she must not lose sight of the big picture, even as her child may be focused on one or two dream schools. “The fundamental question to ask is whether my child is ‘well-prepared for life’ versus ‘Is my child going to a name brand college?’” she said.

“I thought that Dr. Thompson’s remarks were really important to remind us that the goal of parenting is trying to raise children who are loving, moral, independent and productive, and that the name of a particular college or university isn’t necessarily going to produce those characteristics."

Freedman commended Exeter’s college counseling program for its hands-on nature, as well as its consideration of each student’s individual needs throughout the college application process. “I think that Exeter’s College Counseling Office handles the college admissions [process] in a rigorous and thoughtful way, giving guidance and also considering the input of students’ advisors and other teachers to help students find the college that best meets their interests,” she said. At the same time, she does not think that Exeter’s counselors are micromanaging students into places that they’re not interested in. “The counselors strike a good balance between giving constructive input and not being heavy-handed with it.”

On Saturday morning, deans and directors of admissions from several highly-selective colleges and universities held a workshop detailing the admissions process. During the workshop, parents were invited to read profiles of three imaginary candidates and discuss which they felt were the most likely to be admitted. At the conclusion of the session, the experts in the field examined the profiles in front of the entire group, and revealed which of the three students would most likely be admitted.

Upper Jaynee Anaya’s parents familiarized themselves with how they could help their daughter along in the process to avoid missing opportunities.

Anaya appreciated the meetings throughout the weekend. Her parents expressed their satisfaction with having the chance to talk to faculty and other parents. “My parents definitely feel more prepared, and they’re glad they had the chance to talk personally, ask questions directly and have conversations with other parents that have experiences that are different from theirs,” she said.

In addition to the keynote address, parents of international students attended an additional conference on Saturday morning in the Latin Study where Associate Director of College Counseling Michelle Thompson-Taylor outlined the differences in selectivity and financial aid that international applicants face.

Guest speaker and International Student Coordinator Jennifer Smith also helped mediate the discussion. “We discussed financial aid, testing like the SAT I & II and TOEFL, as well as creating a college list and visiting colleges. We kept it informal enough to allow for questions as we went,” she said.

Upper and international student JP Kim found the weekend helpful for both him and his parents, as they were able to grapple with the challenges of the college process together. “The weekend was really nice, especially since now we all seem to be more aware of the process. I’m glad that the College Counseling Office held a panel for international parents who could view the process from a different perspective,” he said.

The weekend concluded with parents meeting in small groups with their child’s respective college counselor. These meetings allowed parents to get to know the counselor who will forge a close partnership with their child in the coming months.

Director of College Counseling Elizabeth Dolan emphasized the objectives of the counselor-parent partnership. “We [college counselors] talk to parents about our curriculum, our role in their student’s process, as well as our role in helping students transition from adolescence to young adulthood,” she said. “The goal of parenthood is to produce a loving, moral, productive and independent child. No university can produce this.”

Upper Molly Canfield described the weekend as “eye-opening.” She was surprised to learn of the selectivity and unpredictability of college admissions. “Seeing how completely random the admissions process is was frightening,” she admitted. “At the same time, some people might have been comforted by knowing that even if they are worthy of going to a certain university, the outcome doesn’t really matter or reflect on them if they aren’t admitted.”

Despite some anxiety about time management and standardized testing, Canfield looks forward to the opportunities for self-discovery that the next year will provide. “Yes, the college admissions process is stressful, but it’s also a super exciting time,” she said. “There are so many schools out there and we uppers are getting to know ourselves and all the opportunities we have once we leave Exeter. I’m glad to know that parents are here to support that.”