EASA Board Members Lead Dorm Discussions
The student-run club, Exonians Against Sexual Assault (EASA), is currently leading a series of discussions with members of opposite-gender dorms about the sexual climate on campus and the different experiences Exonians have had with the school’s “hookup culture.” The board members received training from interim Co-Director of Student Well-being Jane Stapleton and worked closely with the Dean’s office and the administration over the past months in preparation for facilitating these conversations.
The discussions, which are led by two or three EASA board members, cover topics such as the societal pressures students face surrounding masculinity, as well as Exeter-specific issues like Evening Prayer (EP). Board members usually open the discussion with a “fishbowl”—a time during which students write questions anonymously on a slip of paper and answer them together —in order to zero in on the specific group’s interests. Dorms around campus that have already held these discussions with different grades include Ewald, Wheelwright, Peabody, Lamont, McConnell, Main Street, Merrill, Dow House, Kirtland House, Cilley, Bancroft, Abbot, Amen, Gould House, Moulton House, Dunbar, Wentworth, Browning House, Knight House and Langdell.
Senior Myles Haigney, a board member of EASA, expressed his satisfaction with some of the discussions he has already witnessed. “There have been some discussions that have been very productive and I feel like we’ve had a lot of honest contributions from all sorts of people, helping us get a better perspective of the hookup culture at Exeter,” he said.
“I hope and believe that everyone walks out feeling listened to and also that they learned something new.”
From the conversations Haigney had participated in, it has become clear to him that students’ expectations of social interactions such as illegal visitations and EP differ significantly. “Just by gettings guys and girls into the same room and talking about the lack of communication they sometimes have, we’re already starting to see people take a second to rethink their preconceived notions,” Haigney said.
Senior and fellow EASA board member Nada Zohayr emphasized the importance of opening this kind of space for students to comfortably talk, and she noted that a lack of communication can cause misunderstandings. “The purpose of these discussions is to create a platform for students to safely and comfortably talk about gender, sexuality and sex,” she said. “Once Exonians establish a culture that accepts and welcomes discussions on these topics, I believe that our sexual climate will become safer and healthier for the students.”
Though faculty members do not attend the meetings, proctors are present to take general notes about the conversation, omitting specific names. According to senior Gracie Williams, another board member of EASA, the discussion structure allows for natural transparency. “People were very willing to put their true feelings out on the line and I know that these genuine responses will help plan our next course of action,” she said.
Upperclassmen and lowerclassmen were divided for these discussions to keep the groups small. In addition to making conversations more efficient, the smaller group size allowed EASA board members to consider the varying experiences of students based on their grade level.
Senior Emily Robb, Interim President and Vice President of EASA, understood that there were differences in the viewpoints of the upperclassmen and lowerclassmen, and she organized the discussions to make them as productive and comfortable as possible. “We thought preps might have different experiences here than the seniors, and we wanted to make sure that all parties involved felt comfortable speaking up with their fellow dorm mates in their same class,” Robb said.
Williams agreed, adding that many upperclassmen have had different experiences due to a shift in campus culture since their prep or lower years. “Since upperclassmen have been here for three or four years, they’ve seen a change in the campus culture and can compare what they see now to what they saw prep year or lower year,” she explained. She continued, saying, “The lowerclassmen [discussions] will be more telling of what the actual campus culture is right now because that’s what they’re seeing; they’re not comparing it to anything they’ve seen before.”
Current upperclassmen felt that the campus has become more understanding and open since their prep years. During his sister’s time here in 2012, according to Haigney, it was common practice for male students to yell numerical rankings based on attractiveness at girls walking by Grill. “The question wasn’t how disgusting that was, but [girls] were just hoping they would get a good number,” Haigney said. “That was 2012 and it’s 2017 now, so it’s fair to say that we’ve come a long way.”
Stapleton praised the quality of the discussions and the work EASA board members have done in preparing for them. “EASA has worked hard as a group to coordinate the dorm discussions and this has involved considerable planning, reflection and adjusting as the conversations have taken place,” she said. “I think that EASA’s planning, training, skill building, reflection and refinement of the dorm conversations have made this a successful project so far.”
Williams attributed the efficacy of their discussions so far to the training the board members received from Stapleton. “[Dean Stapleton] has really trained us on how to build on people's questions and use people’s discomfort to promote better conversations,” she said. “Her helping hand has been really awesome towards getting us to have very productive conversations.”
Upper Mila DeGuere, another board member of EASA, noted the improvements in the discussions she has seen so far. “The conversations have gotten exponentially better as we continue doing them,” she said. DeGuere is grateful that the discussions have been as fruitful as they have been, considering that they are held from 10-11 p.m. on Friday nights. “[The discussions] are not the most appealing thing but we've had some truly tremendous conversations that have reminded EASA why we do what we do and give hope for a better and safer Exeter,” DeGuere said. “I hope and believe that everyone walks out feeling listened to and also that they learned something new.”
From these conversations, EASA hopes to encourage campus-wide awareness of sexual assault and the hookup culture in general. Senior and EASA board member Eric Tang stated that the main purpose behind the discussions is “to have students critically examine the culture surrounding sex on Exeter's campus and to destigmatize discussion of sexual assault.”
“Our end goal is to make people think about the culture at Exeter. ” Williams added. “We really just want to keep people in the mindset that, while it is rare that [sexual assault] occurs here, it still happens.”
EASA recently sent out a survey to students asking for feedback. On Wednesday evening, several of the board members gathered to review the survey results and decide which areas needed to be improved the most; many survey respondents requested more fishbowl discussions in even smaller groups, more predetermined questions and greater discussion of stereotypes and misunderstandings between genders. The responses reflected a positive view towards the mixed groups of boys and girls.
Lower Elizabeth Williams, who participated in a discussion with McConnell, her own dorm, and Ewald, a boys’ dorm, thought the discussion would have been more productive if a greater number of students had spoken their minds. “If more people had joined in on the conversation, I think the discussion would have been more efficient and I could have learned more diverse perspectives.”
Also noting the perceived awkwardness in talking about some of these sensitive topics, lower Gabriel Laniewski said that the discussions started off slowly. “It wasn't as productive in the beginning because everyone felt uncomfortable talking about the topics,” he said. However, the discussion gradually became more open as more students shared their personal experiences. “It really helped keep the mood light which is, of course, important for a touchy topic.”
Meanwhile, senior Geyang Qin thought that his dorm’s discussion went smoothly, crediting the time slot allocated for Abbot, which was conveniently the night of Exeter’s MLK Day. Qin felt that the facilitators moderated the discussion well and kept the mood light-hearted. However, he wished that more information was presented at the meeting. “It was informative, but if they had, even more, statistics, that would have been better so we could understand the gravity of the issue.”
Looking ahead, EASA hopes to continue raising awareness of sexual assault on campus by possibly hosting producer of “Audrie and Daisy,” a Netflix original documentary about two sexual assault cases. EASA also holds member meetings every Wednesday night and is in the midst of creating new projects designed to positively impact campus culture.
“We’re not here to talk about specific cases or The Boston Globe, we’re here to talk about what can be done to make this community better and safer,” Haigney said. “Any way in which we can raise awareness of this issue and treat our fellow community members with common decency is worth doing.”