Exeter Hosts Coming Out Day Events

Exeter’s Gender and Sexuality Alliance (GSA) worked to raise awareness of the LGBTQ+ community on National Coming  Out Day, last Tuesday, Oct. 11. The day celebrates coming out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, asexual, demi sexual or queer (LGBTQ+).

GSA encouraged students to participate in the NOH8 campaign. NOH8 is a charitable organization that seeks to promote equality for LGBTQ+ individuals by photographing participants with “NOH8” written on the cheeks and silver duct tape across the mouth. GSA also asked the student body to show their support by wearing purple. Though wearing purple is associated with the celebration of Spirit Day, a day dedicated to combating the bullying directed towards members of the LGBTQ+ community, GSA coheads felt that wearing purple on Coming Out Day would make it even more impactful.

GSA also erected a door on the Academic Quad to represent those who have come out in the past and to welcome those who choose to come out in the future. In an email to club members, GSA coheads encouraged people to “walk through it and come out as whatever you want.” The door also had a sign advertising GSA’s Tuesday night meeting, where members and non-members alike could drop by to be photographed for the NOH8 Campaign.

Joanne Lembo, Director of Student Activities and adviser to GSA, hoped that these initiatives would help students understand that they have a “safe place” on campus. In the six years that GSA has put up the door on Coming Out Day, Lembo has seen interest steadily rise. Though she acknowledged that not everyone will feel comfortable enough to walk through it, she believed that it served a more “symbolic” purpose. In her opinion, the door represents the Academy’s  recognition that not all will choose to go through it, but that it is there and it welcomes all.

“National Coming Out day is when I can look back and see how far I’ve come in realizing my identity and accepting myself for who I am, unapologetically.”

Lower Miranda Derossi said she loved the door. “I think it makes a statement and raises awareness for how important this day really is,” she said. Lower Makinrola Orafidiya agreed and added that the door “is really good for people who want to go through it and have it mean something to them.” Comparing it to “real-life clickbait,” lower Emeline Scales commented on the magnetic quality of the door in drawing passersby to it. “People will approach it, and although there will be people who make fun of it, it really does get the message out there to people who had no idea,” Scales said.

Senior Grace Duisberg also liked the door, but, like Scales, saw that it could create opportunity for judgement from members of the community. “I feel like people can be kind of judgmental and that makes people hesitant to use it,” she observed.

Responding to this concern, Dean of Multicultural Affairs Rosanna Salcedo pointed out that, for many people, fear of being judged prevents them from coming out as who they truly are. “We should be aware that there are people around us everyday who keep a part of who they are a secret, not because they want to, but because they fear prejudice, discrimination and even persecution,” she said. Salcedo continued, describing this as “a terrible burden to carry, a burden society inflicts on LGBTQ+ individuals unnecessarily.” Salcedo also drew attention to the fears experienced by allies, noting that some people are afraid to be open about their support of LGBTQ+ individuals because of potential judgement from others. “If coming out as a supporter is difficult, imagine how hard it is for LGBTQ+ individuals to come out,” she said.

While Coming Out Day does not make coming out any less difficult, it offers a chance to celebrate the courage of those who have come out and welcomes those who are not yet ready to do so. Derossi saw it as “a time to accept and love yourself, and to celebrate your sexual orientation, romantic orientation and gender identity, as well as a time for others to show their support.” As Orafidiya pointed out, Coming Out Day can help people in the closet realize their identities or see that they are not alone. This rang true for Scales, who explained, “National Coming Out day is when I can look back and see how far I’ve come in realizing my identity and accepting myself for who I am, unapologetically.” Scales found it comforting to remind herself of how much she has grown over the past few years.

For Salcedo, the day is an opportunity to reflect on LGBTQ+  individuals she knows and loves, and their coming out stories. “While the journey was different for each of them, taking the step to live their life openly required tremendous courage,” she said. “From them I have learned the lesson of being true to oneself, and I am grateful for that.”

According to lower Adrian Venzon, a cohead of GSA, Coming Out Day removes some of the pressure that comes along with coming out “because it’s easy to see that you’re not the only one.” 

However, Venzon thought that Exeter could do a better job of celebrating it. Though a school-wide email was sent out detailing the events of the day and its importance, he felt that “people didn’t really take it to heart.” Likewise, Duisberg questioned its effectiveness given that “a fair number of people don’t read the mass emails.”

Duisburg also pointed out that wearing purple, though a good way to raise awareness, is only effective if “we all know what it means.” Furthermore, Venzon expressed surprise at how few people actually wore purple on Tuesday. Derossi, too, noticed that not many students wore purple and those who did mostly belonged to GSA. “I think it would be nice to have more campus-wide recognition of National Coming Out Day as a real and important celebration,” she concluded.

Scales, however, felt that wearing purple and the NOH8 campaign were “a wonderful way for allies or closeted LGBT members who don’t feel comfortable coming to GSA to show support for LGBT.” Since GSA began participating in the NOH8 campaign four years ago, Lembo has seen it gain popularity. “People post on social media and it’s an easy fun way of getting together,” she said. For Derossi, “the NOH8 pictures are always fun and they have a powerful message,” while Duisberg added that they are “a fun way to bond in the community.”