Acclaimed New York Times Columnist Visits Academy

New York Times columnist and author Frank Bruni spent last Friday at Exeter delivering two speeches to students, teachers and parents reminding them to embrace spontaneity and stray away from equating attending a prestigious college with absolute success.During his morning assembly, Bruni, who has worked in many capacities as a journalist—metropolitan reporter, food critic and Op-ed columnist—and who has published two bestselling books—Born Round and Ambling into History—described his decision to turn down an early acceptance to Yale in favor of attending the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.He shared his expertise in matters of higher education and described the importance of curiosity, serendipity and taking unanticipated paths. He encouraged Exonians to shy away from being locked into a set future and explained the necessity of being open to adventure and self discovery.He acknowledged that for some students, these views defy the innate culture of schools such as Exeter but said, “You have to be confident enough and independent enough to say ‘I have these values’ and I’m not going to be so easily influenced by the chatter around me.” He clarified that he does not encourage anyone to break away from caring about how they do in school or from being deeply involved in activities. “I’m asking you to break away from designing it all in terms of what it’s going to mean for college,” he said.

“Post-Exeter life is not about credentialing, but what you make of the opportunities given you along life’s path.”

He further challenged students, asking them to question their understanding of the definition of success. “Success is fulfilling to a reasonable degree the goals you have for yourself, and finding that the attainment of these goals is indeed as consistent with contentment as you hoped it would be,” he said. “If you didn’t find enormous pleasure and enormous satisfaction in the way you spent your days, then you weren’t successful.”For several students, Bruni’s words were a refreshing reminder to define success in terms of joy, not material wealth. Senior Madison Hillyard explained that as a high achieving group, Exonians are prone to get caught up in goals and miss opportunities that don’t adhere perfectly to a pre-prescribed path. “Mr. Bruni’s assembly reminded us that happiness is an important factor as we look toward the future,” she said.For many, the fact that Bruni has lived a successful, interesting life after turning down an Ivy League education gave credence to his speech. Religion instructor Peter Vorkink observed that since Bruni went through a college admissions process not unlike Exeter’s and chose not his first choice school but a state university, he “walked the talk he gave and in doing so was a role model for students who think there is only one path to success in life.”Senior Charlotte Dillon hoped that Exonians hear Bruni’s words, especially in the midst of the potential madness surrounding college admissions, that “Where you go [to college] is not who you’ll be.”She said that while many assembly speakers share Bruni’s views, the “introduction of the next accomplished assembly speaker is basically a list of all the fabulous schools he or she attended, and people sigh and jump back into the rat race.”Dillon continued, expressing her hopes that “Maybe hearing such a famous and well regarded journalist as Frank Bruni embrace serendipity and spontaneity in his life will lead us to do the same.”Senior Max Eberstadt-Beattie said that since Bruni’s high school experience resembled that of Exonians’, he made a particularly compelling argument that “Straying from our ‘goals’ can lead to wonderful outcomes.”He continued, explaining that Bruni’s points of perspective were particularly meaningful because they differed from what many Exonians subscribe to. “He showed us that success and joy can be found no matter where we end up,” Eberstadt-Beattie said,  “as long as we are willing to pick up our heads and look around instead of trying to keep shuffling forward.”Senior Soren Blomquist Eggerling described Bruni’s assembly as one of the best in the past four years. He explained that although Exonians have often been cautioned to avoid checking off boxes in an attempt at living a happy life, Bruni “hit home on the point that you discover yourself through all the little things that you do that you are passionate about.”Eggerling further expressed appreciation for Bruni and his compelling manner of speaking. “As evidenced in his work for the Times, his storytelling is quite fluid and engaging, making him easy and engaging to listen to as well,” he said.In the evening, Bruni delivered the keynote address of the College Counseling Office weekend for uppers and their parents in Assembly Hall. Once again, he emphasized that as long as a student is engaged in his or her learning, the school they end up at won’t define their contentment or success.Director of College Counseling Betsy Dolan explained that  College Counseling invited Bruni as the keynote speaker for the weekend because his latest book, Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be, aligned with their philosophy, that “It’s not where you go to college that matters, it is your engagement at that college and beyond.”She continued that his speech was “meaningful, thoughtful and well received,” and applauded the message he delivered to uppers and their parents.  “Students and parents need to be open to opportunities,” she said. “The ‘planned route’ doesn’t always happen.”Vorkink hoped that Bruni’s message resonated with students as well as their parents. “Life cannot be planned and lived linearly,” he said. “It is full of zigs and zags, unexpected turns and opportunities, and one needs to ‘go with the flow,’ and see where that takes you.” He continued, “Post-Exeter life is not about credentialing, but what you make of the opportunities given you along life’s path.”Bruni reaffirmed that any student who commits to their studies and becomes engaged in campus life in a genuine way will end up at a “very fine school,” but that the prestige of that college is irrelevant.“If you go to that school with that same attitude and that same engagement and that same level of intellectual curiosity, that’s the thing that’s going to sustain your life and make it happen, not any name,” he said. “You have to believe it, and you have to filter the world around you in a way that doesn’t drown out your own voice and your own convictions.”