A Weekend of Smiles, Joy and Family Fun

Around 1600 visitors arrived on campus last Friday for Exeter’s annual Family Weekend. Open to the relatives of all students, the weekend invited visitors to classes as well as a variety of hosted events such as open music and sports practices, a cocktail reception and even a game night.

According to Principal Lisa MacFarlane, the event is a highlight for families. A former Exeter parent herself, she recalled always “loving Family Weekend.” As the current principal, she found the same to be true this year. She attended many of the various receptions throughout the weekend and had the chance to extend her reach in the Exeter community.

“It was great how many students introduced their families to me in the dining halls, on the paths and between classes—I really appreciated having those personal introductions,” she said. “It’s always wonderful to have a chance to talk to families, to hear their questions and learn what’s on their minds.”

Family Weekend also serves as a chance for students to get a break in the middle of the term and see their parents for the first time in over a month. Prep Harrison Murray described the event as a “refreshing” break from the normal schedule, which was beginning to feel a bit tiresome.

“I really enjoyed having the long weekend to relax,” he said. “It was really exciting, especially because it was the first time my entire family was on campus at one time. The time given to be with your family is a great stress reliever and seeing new place along with them is great, too.”

For parents, Family Weekend provided them with the joy of seeing their children and learning more about the Academy. For the Murray family, this especially rang true. “Parents Weekend was an exciting, enlightening whirlwind!” Anna Murray, mother of Harrison, said. “We especially enjoyed attending some of Harrison’s classes, listening to Principal MacFarlane’s address to the parents, the standing-room-only a cappella concert and a dinner in Portsmouth on Saturday.”

As Murray noted, one highlight for parents was the opportunity to attend classes with their children. For many, this was their first glimpse into the Harkness method. Kathryn Michaels, the mother of upper Serena Michaels, described it as “a great opportunity to be that fly on the wall and observe classes.”

For the family of prep Adar Tulloch, French class served as an eye-opener to the language teachings at Exeter. Wayne Tulloch, Adar’s father, was amazed by the fact no English was spoken in his son’s foreign language class, a testament to the immersion component of Exeter’s language program.

However, the addition of parents in classes can also change the dynamic of Harkness discussions, as both students and teachers try to impress the parents. Science instructor Sharon Finley described the weekend as a “performance” in this sense. She noted that both herself and her students always “try to rise to their best.” As a result, the event can initially seem nerve racking.

Tulloch agreed with Finley. Family Weekend made him feel self-conscious as he represented not only himself, but also his family. He felt pressured to come more prepared for class and set an example of how Harkness benefits students.

While in the past upper Serena Michaels has also found this to be the case, she personally thought conversations this year felt more natural, giving the parents a more realistic experience.

“In previous years, I felt that the conversations during Family Weekend suffered from the pressure the presence of family members brought, but, this year, my family honestly got a good representation of what a day at PEA is like,” she said.

Michaels praised the event, attributing the careful attention details as what allowed it to run smoothly. There were only a few things she described as problems, and to her they were all very minor, such as long lunch lines and small scheduling errors. “Considering how many visitors the school has to deal with over one weekend, I think that they handled it masterfully,” she said.

Some faculty and students still had suggestions on how the event could be improved in the future. According to Finley, the crowd of parents on campus made getting to classes hectic. She thought an additional five minutes between classes might relieve students from being late and help calm crowds trying to rush to across campus.

Finley also noted that in the past parents were expected to meet with all of the student’s teachers, even if they didn’t have a specific reason. Lately, she has noticed this has not been the case, as the school reminds parents they can reach out to their students teachers at any time.

“I used to have, with four classes and my advisees, twenty or thirty meetings,” she said. “Now, people still meet with me, but they tend to be people who have something specific they want to discuss.”

On the other hand, Monique Tulloch, Adar’s mother, felt that the parent-teacher interactions could be improved.

“From being the main ones in charge of his education, checking his grades immediately online, emailing his teachers, to almost having no connection—it’s difficult,” she said. “I’m not saying we should be helicopter parents, but the chance to at least have opportunities to correspond with the teachers—that would be great.”

Yet, overall, the event was seen as a success by most. Dean of Students Melissa Mischke attributed this to the work of institutional advancement, who was in charge of facilitating the planning, organization and implementation. She thought they did “an amazing job.”

History instructor Nolan Lincoln shared similar opinions to Mischke. As a new faculty member, he has found students on campus to be very friendly so far and was glad to see the same with their parents. The event felt like a “second welcoming” as parents congratulated him on his new role in the Academy. “Everyone has been very nice, supportive and enthusiastic,” he said.

Similarly, most parents felt they were met on campus with excitement.

“We learn something new each and every time we are on campus,” Anna Murray said. “It’s an amazing place with bright, capable, energetic, students who all seem engaged in the learning process and grateful to be there. That makes for a very welcoming atmosphere. I definitely plan on coming back in the future.”