Homesickness Impacts Student Life

As the novelty of boarding school life gives way to the grind of homework and classes, homesickness is beginning to plague some new boarding students on campus. Homesickness’s effects, ranging from isolation in social interactions to distraction from schoolwork, have raised discussion about the Academy’s treatment and prevention programs.According to homesickness expert and counselor Dr. Christopher Thurber, while homesickness is a “normative pathology” experienced by nearly everyone when they first go away, on average, twenty percent of the new student population is bothered by these feelings, and seven percent have “intense feelings of homesickness that are associated with significant symptoms of anxiety and depression.” Homesickness reaches its chief intensity around this period of time, after the first several weeks of school, and again after family weekend, Thurber says.Thurber believes that Exeter is not doing enough to prevent homesickness, even though there are many low-cost options that could reduce the negative effects of adjustment by more than half. He attributes the lack of preventative efforts to a potential fear among members of the school administration and The Association of Boarding Schools (TABS), that homesickness prevention efforts will frighten away prospective students.Dean Melissa Mischke believes that, on campus, there are many options for the treatment of homesickness, ranging from student listeners to dorm faculty and health services. “The Health Services is our resource for coping with homesickness, and I would encourage students to utilize that,” she said. “I think that either talking with an adult or a counselor to make sure someone knows you’re having a hard time is important—student listeners can be a good resource as well...they could provide some student-to-student support.”Director of Counseling and Psychological Services Jeanne Stern agrees, saying that while a wide range of students are affected there are variety of treatment options available. “Homesickness is very normal and most students will feel some homesickness at some point in their time at PEA,” Stern said. “Most of the time peers and advisors help students adjust to life away from home. Proctors, Student Listeners and new faculty are given some information about what signs to look for to recognize a homesick student, and dorm teams meet regularly and discuss students who may be having a tough time adjusting.”Many new students believe that these resources have provided a good framework for treatment. “I have experienced some homesickness so far, and I know some of my friends have too,” prep Craig Celestin said. “My proctors definitely are supportive...they help me to get through it because they are so friendly and they are funny people and I sort of look up to them, and then I have my advisor as well.”Thurber believes that while Exeter’s treatment programs are successful, the Academy needs to focus more on prevention. As co-author of dozens of research papers and articles on preventing the pains of leaving home, some of which have been published in the Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics and in the Journal of American College Health, he developed a homesickness prevention package for the American Camp Association, and he believes Exeter should do something similar.“We spend tremendous amounts of time and money designing this experience, in all of its educational, artistic and athletic glory, but if somebody’s homesick, they’re not getting anything out of it,” Thurber said. “We have an operating budget in the millions of dollars to support beautiful facilities, amazing teachers and great courses, and we could spend zero dollars and put in a little bit of time, and the result would be that even more students would get even more out of Exeter, and fewer students would suffer.”Thurber states that roughly twelve students out of any new cohort to enter the school receive treatment for a primary presenting problem of intense homesickness, and that these numbers can be reduced with such prevention.Many on campus have discussed the nature of homesickness, believing its effects to be wide ranging.

“I think its a much bigger problem than people give it credit for. Homesickness can often lead to other problems. It’s kind of a gateway drug in that it can start off and lead to depression and can subsidize into different manifestations of that,” said senior and Student Listener Savannah Gardner.

“I think people assume that homesickness is just new students arriving on campus, but it can actually happen to anybody during anytime at the Academy for many reasons. Usually it’s short-term, but it could last a while for some people,” said Dean Mischke.New students are not the only ones who may experience these feelings. “Even students who aren’t first timers can get scared or homesick when they have a lot going on in their life, if they feel overwhelmed or if something is going on at home,” said senior and Student Listener Hope Logan.While international students are especially prone to homesickness, this is due to difference in culture rather than geographic distance. However, the adjustment isn’t necessarily because of geographic distance from home. “It has much more to do with cultural contrast and perceived demand on the person’s skill set,” said Thurber.Thurber suggests that students try to get to know their school better before arrival. “A major factor is gathering as much information about the new place as you can, so when you get there, you don’t feel as disoriented. I think that most students, whether excited to go to college or excited to go to prep school just don’t do that,” he said.