EHS, PEA Students Discuss Tensions

Exonians pride themselves on the value of “non sibi”—not for oneself—yet the relationship between students from Phillips Exeter Academy and those from Exeter High School is not always filled with the principle of goodness upon which the Academy was founded.Phillips Exeter Academy and Exeter High School, which are less than ten minutes away from each other, have co-existed in the town of Exeter for more than 165 years. However, both past and present students from the two schools believe that most connections between boarders and local teenagers are either hostile or disconnected.Some Exonians note, for example, that EHS students or other local residents shout out profanities from cars and, in some extreme cases, threaten to run Exonians over. Some EHS students and local residents say that Exonians can sometimes be less than friendly.PEA senior Charlie Boyd claims that local teenagers have called out to him more than twenty times over his four years. Although Boyd’s clothes—pastel and preppy—make him a more conspicuous member of the Exeter community, many students face the same problem during their school careers.“They clearly know that you’re from the academy when you’re wearing a Thomas Pink, pressed, slim-fit button down shirt in a pastel solid or Bengal stripe and a red tie; you’re sixteen and you look like a little different,” Boyd said. “Most of the people who shouted at me were roughly between the ages of 16 and 20.”Senior Rohan Pavuluri was yelled at on the second day of his prep year while walking to Las Olas with a group of older friends from his dorm. “They were in a car and shouted some flurried combination of expletives. It was difficult to differentiate the words, but the tone was negative,” Pavuluri said.Yet director of Student Activities Joanne Lembo said that EHS students are not always to blame.“Recognize that it may not be an Exeter High School student,” she said. “They could just be rude people driving by.”Indeed this may be the case, as some students from EHS feel that Exonians disrespect the town of Exeter’s dynamic between cars and students.“A big thing that our students don’t like is when PEA kids just walk out into the street not really looking either way; it almost feels like they think they own the town,” said a current senior at EHS, who asked not to be named.Academy’s Day Student Coordinator Jan Trueman agrees that some Exonians have been neglecting their neighborly duties.“Lately, I’m noticing the Exeter kids are a little rude because they don’t even lift their heads up when crossing the road, let alone tip their hand to acknowledge the person in the car is there,” Trueman said. “The assumption is that cars will stop for them and that’s not so.” She believes that Exonians should take more care in understanding the boundaries between campus and public areas.Another sensitive issue is Exonians’ casual use of the derogatory word “townie,” when referring to teenagers who live in Exeter but do not attend the Academy.“I think calling us ‘townies’ is kind of rude because it gives off the vibe that we are dumb rednecks from New Hampshire,” the anonymous senior from EHS said.EHS senior Jon Mirsky agreed. “The word ‘townie’ implies that the town of Exeter is just a playground for PEA students,” he said. “It sounds like the students are only here because they go to school here and that we, the people who actually live here, don’t mean much to you guys.”However, not all relations between the two schools are negative. Day students often know and are friends with local teenagers.Upper day student Colby Chaffin believes that the conflict stems from generalizations made by ignorant students at both schools.“I have a group of eight kids from EHS who love me and everyone I hang out with,” Chaffin said. “[My friends] just need to get to know [Exonians]; they need a bridge to connect. Once they realize they’re talking to just another high school kid, there’s not a big disconnect.”“The kids who they don’t know, the kids walking around with their expensive phones, laptops and headphones give them the perspective that Exonians are all rich prep school kids,” he added.Upper day student Jordan Cynewki believes that negative stereotypes run both ways. “If we assume that all the EHS kids are all dumb and mean, that’s no different from them thinking that we all walk around in pastel pants and are really preppy,” he said.One common misconception made by EHS students about Exonians is that they are haughty in the presence of non-PEA students visiting the school.“A friend of mine from school went to [PEA] on a full scholarship. When I went to visit her, her friends would be sort of condescending, like, ‘why are you here in my cafeteria?’” one student, who graduated from EHS Class of 2010 and asked not to be named, said.Class of 2010 EHS student Devon Trently agreed. “When I was a student at EHS there wasn’t really much integration between students from PEA and public school kids,” he said. “Being on the campus always felt kind of weird, like we weren’t welcome.”However, Pavuluri said that not all PEA students make students from town feel unwelcome.“I think that certain students may look down upon local teenagers and I think it is a shame,” Pavuluri said. “The majority of PEA students come from very diverse social and economic backgrounds, and I think do not have the inclination to look down upon EHS students.”Yet some students felt differently, believing that disputes are implicit in the attitudes of EHS students towards the Academy.“I think EHS kids see [Exonians] as the privileged ones that they can’t be,” junior Sydney Palevich of EHS, said.Another anonymous EHS junior agreed. “There was this girl who applied at the same time as me, and I got in and she didn’t,” she said. “She was very bitter about it, and she wouldn’t talk to me.”For a future relationship, students and teachers from both schools expressed a desire to improve the alliance.“I think there can be possible joint community service projects to make the bond better between both schools,” Lembo said. “I think it can be done through some sort of joint events. Basically it is about getting to know other students well.”EHS’s Trently agreed. “It would be nice to have more integration because I think the students have lots to learn from each other. Students from EHS and Phillips Exeter come from entirely different backgrounds.”