Queer Umbrella Group
“I didn't really have a space that allowed me to be in a community with others who were going through the same thing. Being able to help foster that sort of community has been really rewarding," said Jessica Alvarez.
The Queer Umbrella Group is a series of affinity organizations providing support for queer students on campus. Initiated by Joanne Lembo, the Director of Student Activities as well as PEA’s first LGBTQA+ coordinator, these constituent groups hold independent meetings for those who identify with particular gender identities or sexual orientations.
Students join the Queer Umbrella Group with a diverse range of needs. “For some, it is literally a lifeline—the one place on campus where they do not need to hide a part of themselves,” Lembo said. “For others, [the club] serves as a social space.”
Exonians questioning their identity may connect with other students who have already gone through a similar experience. “It was able to connect me to older kids, specifically upperclassmen, who served as my role models and mentors for figuring out my identity,” senior Elliot Diaz said. “I'm very glad that it exist for students who feel that it would be helpful.”
The need for queer affinity groups was affirmed by the Youth Health Risk Behavior Survey (YHRBS) administered in May 2017. “[The results] showed that [queer] students are more likely to feel anxious or depressed and less likely to connect with or feel supported by adults on campus,” said Tyler Caldwell, an advisor to the Gay Male Affinity Group. “Though we might discuss [these] issues in the classroom, I think it is vital that we have time and space to express and talk about those issues in a more relaxed setting.”
Certain social dynamics can prevent students from expressing their true gender and/or sexuality. “Unfortunately, there are still pockets of this campus where it is not safe to come out,” said Lembo. “Many dorms are safe and welcoming, but others are not [as accepting]. Likewise, many sports teams can be welcoming, but others are not [as safe].” When incidents arise, affinity spaces become an important resource for many students.
Furthermore, these groups can also assist members in dealing with strenuous situations outside of campus. “The group may support a student who's questioning, or maybe out, on campus and nervous about going home for vacation,” Alex Myers, an advisor for the Transgender Affinity Groups, said. “That's one of the times that I try to meet with the affinity group—just before vacation. [...] We'll just talk about some strategies for the dinner table.”
Unlike other on-campus organizations, the Queer Umbrella Group stresses reflective, not academic, dialogue. “There's no agenda, [and] there's no mission statement. It's just a group of people sharing an experience. It's not meant to be an [academic] discussion,” upper Alisha Simmons said. “These [groups] are more for just existing.”As affinity groups, the clubs rely on their safe and optionally-confidential conversations rather than public displays of activism to provide support for students. “Due to the personal nature of participation in an affinity group, I would not want to force students to engage with this aspect of their identity in public ways if they are not yet ready,” Caldwell said.
The groups also serve as a space where students and adult advisors can share stories and offer advice to others. “I go to the Queer Woman Affinity Group, and it's just really nice to talk to adults who have lived lives as queer women,” Simmons said. “It's nice to see this representation.”
Faculty advisors are heavily invested in providing a community for their affinity group’s members. “When I was coming to terms with my sexuality, I did not have that whatsoever,” Jessica Alvarez, an advisor to Queer Kids of Color, said. “I didn't really have a space that allowed me to be in a community with others who were going through the same thing. Being able to help foster that sort of community has been really rewarding.”
Lembo stressed, however, that discussions remain heavily student-led. “[The Queer Umbrella Group] is not ‘run’ by adults—we merely keep the list and coordinate meeting times,” she said. “The discussion is driven solely by the students.”
The confidentiality and intimacy of the Queer Umbrella Group is a distinguishing factor in many students’ decisions to attend the groups. “If you're questioning and you don't know who to go to, these [groups] are confidential,” said Simmons. “We're not allowed to release the names of who is in them.” The privacy of such a group allows students to be vulnerable and honest in the relaying of their personal experiences.
Ultimately, the Queer Umbrella Group gives queer students a space in which they are visible. “At Exeter, we're all students here, and we're all doing homework, and we have that in common,” said Myers. “Being queer can be easily made invisible, and [the groups are] a chance just to be heard, seen and felt.”
Throughout its years of existence, the Queer Umbrella Group has kept the same message—one that Lembo views to be paramount to the club’s effectiveness in caring for its students. “We see you, we hear you, we value you and we are here for you,” she said.