Student Listeners
Imagine it’s midnight, and you can’t sleep because tomorrow is your mom’s birthday—this is the first time you won’t be with her on her special day. All you want is to talk to someone who understands. You don’t know many kids in the dorm yet, but you know there’s a Student Listener on your floor because of their blue name tag. You go knock on their door, and they welcome you in to talk for a few minutes. You finally go to bed, feeling better and more at home at your new school.
The Student Listener (StuLis) program was founded in the early 1990’s by Patty Schwartz, M.Ed, who was a counselor at the Health Center. Since then, the program has always been coordinated through the Counseling Department.
Student listeners are uppers and seniors who have been appointed the position through a layered selection process at the end of each spring term. The application entails a personal statement and a faculty recommendation. From there, the applications, with applicants’ names removed, are read by at least three current Student Listeners. In addition, Morse receives input from Listeners and dorm heads from each applicant’s respective dorm. “The result is a wonderful group of Listeners, yet we know we also end up having to turn away some very caring and giving students due to so many applicants for such few spots,” Morse said.
“I’m excited to help make my dorm a more united and happy place to live for everyone.”
Listeners meet on Mondays for weekly training session that include topics like anxiety, listening skills, depression, supporting a LGBTQ+ student, positive psychology, sexual pressures, parent and teen relationships, coping with disappointment, eating disorders, qualities of healthy relationships, drugs and alcohol, DC and ASAP process, Health Center Resources and more. According to Counselor and Student Listener Coordinator Connie Morse, the program is the largest of its kind at any of Exeter’s sister boarding schools.
Student Listeners are available to their peers to offer a non-judgemental, helpful support system. Most issues are kept confidential. However, if a Listener believes another student is in danger, they must reach out to the Health Center or a dorm faculty member. If the Listener is unsure of what to do, they can speak in hypotheticals to discuss what to do in certain situations.
“We do not want students worrying alone about their peers—we want them to reach out to grown-ups and seek help,” Morse said. “Many [StuLis] have helped students access help and counseling over the years and have made a big difference in a student’s life by being there during hard times.”
“The StuLis training sessions have been really helpful to work on certain conversation skills needed to communicate with my fellow students,” second-year listener and senior Kevin Elaba said. “Most of my dorm mates come to talk about their everyday lives at Exeter, which usually revolve around relationship, academics and family troubles.”
Upper Mila Cherie joined the Student Listener Program with a desire to be there for peers in need. She also pointed out that StuLis gives her the opportunity to help dorm mates she doesn’t know well yet. “I’m excited to help make my dorm a more united and happy place to live for everyone,” she said.
Senior Abigail Africa applied to become a Student Listener because she thought having training on listening skills could teach her how to become a better friend and dorm leader. “I love being a connected part of my dorm and campus and just being someone people can turn to for friendship and comfort and support, because people who have done the same for me have made all the difference in my time at Exeter and years past.”