Pop Culture Corner

Dearest poppers. It’s been so long! How could you have possibly survived without me? Alone in a sea of wonderful pop culture? With excellent new movie releases like “That Awkward Moment” (Zac Efron!) or “The Nut Job” (no comment)? Or the media frenzy over Justin Bieber’s arrest (after which, he compared himself to Michael Jackson—I wish I was kidding)?! Or perhaps the Grammys?!?! Ah, yes. The Grammys, the only night of the year people watch CBS for more than thirty minutes in one sitting. Let’s break down this year’s best and worst moments.YAY: Beyonce. Goes without saying, right? But the opening of Beyonce + Jay-Z was pretty sweet, performing “Drunk in Love,” complete with fog machines and a variety of skin-tight-are-you-kidding-me-just-had-a-baby outfits. She did some signature hair flips, but the best hair flip goes to Taylor Swift, who thrashed her blond cranium around wildly while playing a large, glittering piano. Best quote of the night goes to Jay-Z, who, when accepting the award for Best Rap/Sung Collab, rose the award aloft and said: “I want to tell Blue, ‘Daddy’s got a new gold sippy cup for you.’” Oh, Blue Ivy. What a life you will lead.EUGH: Pharrell Williams, although winning big with Daft Punk for Record of the Year “Get Lucky,” had no right to the ludicrous hats he was wearing. When he went up with Daft Punk to accept the award, you wondered who was more alien—the two French dudes in metal Darth-Vader helmets, or Pharrell Williams in a misshapen, bag-like cowboy hat.YAY: Lorde! You go, you exotic New Zealandic, seventeen year-old pop star! “Royals” won big that night, and each of her speeches reflected the more modest side of the music industry (see Jay-Z, above).WOW: “Same Love” takes the cake for most stunning performance, featuring Mary Lambert, Madonna and Macklemore (Mardacklemore?) singing, while Queen Latifah married 34 gay, straight and lesbian couples onstage during the performance. It was a pretty amazing moment to watch live, and reminds that perhaps music can be used for the common good. And also, I didn’t realize Queen Latifah could marry people. The more you know.EUGH: Ok, so you have the two living Beatles in the room, but they don’t even collaborate on one of their own songs? Maybe it’s just me, but I would’ve much prefered that to Ringo singing solo (“drummers shalt not sing” -musical bible). When they did collaborate, they covered one of Paul’s new songs from his album entitled, go figure, New. New! Just like Paul McCartney’s botox, wife and combover!WAH: Sara Bareilles. The only love of my life. The belle behind “Love Song,” nominated this year in a couple categories (including Album of the Year) for her ballad-heavy The Blessed Unrest, really didn’t win anything. But she was a good sport. Unlike Taylor Swift, who looked noticeably shocked when her album Red did not win in the major categories.EUGH: The biggest scandal of the night was when someone up in the booth (perhaps a CBS dude, bored out of his mind, like everyone else) flipped the switch in the middle of the closing song, a giant rock fest of Nine Inch Nails, Dave Grohl and Queens of the Stone Age. This led Trent Razor to tweet angrily at the executive producer (gasp), while hard rock fans around the world decided to get angry by listening to some Nine Inch Nails, and then cool down by listening to some Nine Inch Nails.LOL: Where was Kanye? Our savior? Our Yeezus? Just chilling with Kardashians at their pad in L.A.? I would quote anything from Yeezus here as an ironic segue, but I don’t want to get fired. But you get the gist.Anyways, the world continues to turn, despite the Grammys best efforts. But hey! Let’s just leave this year’s ceremony to be another “random access memory,” and maybe, if we “get lucky,” we can just forget the whole thing and go back to listening to good music.