Life Advice: Ask Mason & Yusuke

Q1: I often find it difficult to finish all of my homework while still finding time to shower. What should I do? A1: Cleanliness and hygiene always come first. Most times, skipping a few pages of history homework is a sacrifice most would be glad to take for a daily shower. If you’re really pressed for time, there are a few things you can do to cut down your shower time. Like brushing your teeth in the shower, or spraying yourself with lavender-scented Febreze. Q2: I got someone else’s underwear in my E&R laundry. Any advice as to what to do with my findings? A2: If the underwear is especially high quality, and you’re feeling a little risky, I’d say sport ‘em. But in all seriousness, I would say morally, obviously the right thing to do is return the underwear. You should probably just post a picture on Facebook and ask who the owner is. Q3: I have someone in my class with an especially irritating voice. What can I do to get around such a problem? A3: Sit somewhere else. Or alternatively, you dominate the Harkness conversation to the extent where he or she doesn’t have a chance to speak. You can also offer them a piece of gum prior to class so they spend less time talking and more time remaining silent. Q5: I am a prep, and I am interested in a lower girl in my class. Any pick-up lines that will help me close the deal? A5:1. Are you a 90 degree angle? Cause you’re looking right!2. If you ask Thomas Paine, he'll tell you that dating me is Common Sense.3. Are you a library book? Because I’d like to check you out. Q6: Walking to the Phelps Science Center yesterday, I slipped on some black ice. Any advice as to how to recover from such a humiliating fall? A6:1. Stay down, take a breather, and pretend it was on purpose.2. Do the worm.3. Invest in some wrist guards, elbow pads and knee pads to wear to class. Q7: Whenever I go to the panini press to make a sandwich, there are always a select few preps that take at least ten minutes opening and closing the press. What do I do? A7: You can always take their sandwich out and replace it with yours. Or if you feel like abusing your seniority, you can take their finished panini and eat it for yourself. Your advisers,Yusuke Agata &Mason Polk  Have any life problems? Submit your questions to Mason and Yusuke at exonianaf@gmail, or slip them into P.O. box #1897.