Pop Culture Corner

Best Halloween Costumes: 2013 Edition Believe it or not, England celebrates Halloween too! Some people dress up, but no one goes out trick-or-treating. When I asked a pocket of roaming youths on the street in Hereford about the whole candy side of the holiday, they looked at me and said with disdain: “Bloody Americans,” or something like that. So it’s true, we do get a bit carried away. We delight in horror movies, we stuff ourselves with cheap chocolate and as we get older, we tend to do things that we wouldn’t have done if we were not in costume. Ew. But this year, instead of cutting up that old E&R sheet, thrill your teachers, peers and self! Draw from our ever-flowing fountain of pop culture! Be ready to scare, terrify and revel in the delight of celebrity idiocracy. 1. Anyone from Breaking BadSo it’s the year of Breaking Bad. Get a yellow jumpsuit, gasmask and black lingerie and do the “Sexy Walt.” (Lord knows what that means, but it’s a top seller this year). Look horrendously suburban mom and do the Skyler. Or get some crutches and be Walt. Jr! You can’t go wrong with this option! Even little Baby Holly would be a great idea! 2. A PoliticianInstructions: Hawaiian beach shirts, oodles of money, a bemused, first-class laugh, escorts (who said that?!), a large piece of cardboard with the phrase “A-mur-i-can Lau” written in childish letters, a combover, etc. The list goes on. Make sure to add the shotgun if you want to wave toward the Tea Party side. The shutdown has gotten everyone extra cynical for the holidays, so make sure to take full advantage of your political outspokenness. 3. The Cast of Spring BreakersGoodness, I’m just bubbling with excitement over this one. If you want to go down the Selena Gomez/any of her comrades route, you gotta have the bikini and the gun. Make-up, blood splatters and Louis Vuitton flip-flops optional. Miami with a hint of murder. Or you could go James Franco. For this one, you must look it up. Golden teeth grills is all I have to say. If you want to be pop-savvy yet on-the-edge this year, this is the way to go. Sprriiiiinnggg Breaaaakkkk… 4. JT and/or Jay-ZNow, I’m not saying at the same time. That’s just outlandish! But this option is truly swag. Get on your “suit and tie,” black and white tux, shining black shoes and look earnestly and seductively at any one that passes by. You may dance. You may sing. But after two installments of his epic “20/20” album, everyone will be ready for you, as JT, to do what he does. Which means everything. For the stylish. 5. Miley Cyrus and Robin ThickeThis one might’ve been the most obvious, but is consequentially the best. You can dress as a demonic teddy bear in a skin-colored leotard (I’m imagining a list of people in that outfit), but in that case you must twerk. And I don’t want to see any of that. Or you could go the Robin Thicke route. Dress up, business-casual, objectify women, look a bit concerned whenever you see a Miley-impersonator, etc. I dare you to take either of these challenging costumes on, or if you’re feeling extra daring, go in pairs and twerk in places like: Grill. Assembly Hall. Your English Class. The Gym! Your dormitory! Stillwell’s! The possibilities are endless. And horrifying. Most of these are easy to manage and will get a, well, erm, reaction! I wish you best on your ambitions this Halloween. I, meanwhile, will be dressing up as either Queen Elizabeth the First, or Marie from Breaking Bad. ~K