Prep Posse
By JINMIN LEE and SAMUEL ALTMAN
They don’t want you.
You don’t deserve their attention.
You are worth nothing in light of their greatness.
Nobody knows when it formed or how, not even the members themselves, but it will. They will not talk to you. In fact, they might not talk at all, especially in class. Speaking of class, they’ve got it all. Introducing: Prep Posse.
In the course of writing this article, many of the ex-prep posse members in the class of ‘26 were sought after for interviews. Most either declined or have since left the school. A lot of ex-members have even denied the fact that they once were part of this gang. But we remember.
Were we—plebians, mere proletariats—jealous of them? No. Maybe. So, for any preps who need some advice on joining (or not joining) or recognizing this infamous group, here are some tips to spot them.
1. A noisy, lively booth on the RIGHT side of Elm Street
2. They don’t say “hi” back to you when you see them on the paths
3. They don’t do homework
We went around interviewing everyone we could find on the streets to ask for their opinion on Prep Posse. Due to the posthumous pompous perennial social hegemony and dominance the Posse still holds, most interviewees—including ex Posse members (ironically)—insisted on staying anonymous, presumably for their own safety. Here are some notable quotations:
“Prep Posse is class. Prep Posse is elegance. Prep Posse is the pinnacle of social development in prep fall.”
“Prep Posse is that incoming group of freshmen girls who are usually super cliquey.”
“Prep Posse is that one group of people that lasts a couple of weeks and then they all hate each other after.”
“A group of usually young and immature kids who get together at the beginning of prep year and then break off after a couple of months.”
“Prep Posse means a really large group of preps who travel together in packs and are super loud.” When asked to describe Prep Posse in one word, they noted, “Sheep.”
“I don’t know, I don’t really associate with them much. I just, I don’t know — I’ve never really crossed paths with them (CAP).”
“I think Prep Posse is not really real anymore. But in prep year, it was real. It was family.”
“In the words of Carti, ‘It’s a way of life.’”
“In the beginning, I was jealous of Prep Posse because they had friends immediately… but they always fall off.”
“Prep Posse means a lot of cutting in the lines and it means Grill is full of kids idling and not getting on with their day. Prep Posse really shows you how entitled preps can be when they finally get a taste of freedom.”
“I think the original ‘Prep Posse’ is just a prep year thing. But its parasitic residue lasts until senior year.”
So, then, it’s called Prep Posse for a reason — what happens come lower year? The answer is clear. As one anonymous commenter put it, “They’re a group of usually young and immature kids who get together at the beginning of prep year and then break off after a couple of months.”