Online Harkness: A Summary

1. Upon Joining the Call:

   1. The international student is half asleep because it’s 3a.m.

   2. Someone has forgotten to mute themself.

   3. Half the students are missing because “their Wi-Fi is down.”

   4. Someone is in their pajamas.

   5. The Harkness warrior has bought a professional grade microphone.

2. During the Discussion:

   1. The only thing you hear is incessant page turning—hey, if it’s an ASMR category, how bad can it be?

   2. Someone has Sparknotes open on another tab.

   3. Someone sounds like a robot.

   4. The teacher can’t tell one voice from another and has no idea who gets participation credit.

   5. The Minecraft OST is playing in the background, but you can’t tell where it’s coming from

3. After the Discussion:

   1. No one hangs up. It’s rude to be the first, but it’s weird to be the last. 

   2. Everyone reaches for the hand sanitizer. You know it's only digital, but it still feels like you’re dirty.

   3. The Harkness warrior lovingly wipes a copious amount of spit off of his microphone in preparation for his next class.