Morning Has Broken
By CALISTA LEE ’24
It was a perfect spring day. The grass was glittering from last night’s dewy drizzle, sunlight gleaming off every delicate blade like streams of gold. The bushes quivered gently in the comfortable breeze. A perched sparrow sang a sweet melody in the distance, soon joined by another. There wasn’t a cloud in sight.
A scream ripped from my throat. Oh my God. Oh my God. I was going to die. I was about to die. My legs propelled me forward, faster than my body could keep up with. That... thing trailed after me, and I could hear its feet squelching against the damp ground nearly two feet away. I panted and let out a dry sob, dashing across the field. Long grass whipped against my legs. I knew I should’ve worn pants when I left that godforsaken house.
I was running so fast, too fast, I was going to fall. Luckily, instead of tumbling to the ground like a newborn deer, I caught myself and stumbled instead. Still.
It laughed. I risked a glance over my shoulder.
Good Lord.
I screeched as a knife clipped my upper arm, blood
beading at the incision. No time to think about that, no time, I had to run.
An unfortunately placed branch caught around my shoe and I crashed to the ground. Jerking my leg up upwards, I tried to get loose, but that tangled me even further.
“Oh God, oh God, save me, oh my God,” I prayed. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I-I- I’ll floss next time, ok, I’ll leave cookies, please, please, just let me go.” It hovered above me, oversized blue eyes staring into my soul.
“No... forgiveness...” The thing kindly informed me, reaching behind its back. It had a gun? Wasn’t a knife enough!
Instead, it pulled out a blue-pink-yellow oversized painted egg.
What. I laughed out of shock. It raised the egg over me with massive paws before it crashed onto my head, yolk spilling all over. It hurt a little bit, but confusion outweighed any bruises I might’ve gotten. Um.
“Wait, really? Are you kidding me? Is this a prank? Do you actually think an egg is going to kill me?” I passed out.
...
...um
... ...ummmm...
Um.
Dude, that was the weirdest dream I’ve ever had. I’m never eating Trix cereal again, they were right, Trix are for kids.
That weirdass rabbit was even in my dream. Was this some sort of sick product advertising? I grunted and pushed myself up in the dark, bringing out an arm to steady myself.
But I didn’t. Couldn’t, actually. A strip of leather was wrapped around my arm, legs, and torso. Ok. Yup. Not a dream. The Trix bunny had come to life and was evil.
Wait, no, today was Easter. It was the Easter Bunny, not the Trix rabbit. Oh my God, I’m such an idiot. How could I mix the two up? The Trix rabbit was extremely underweight. The average Easter Bunny had a BMI of over double his. If I could shake my head, I would.
Click. A bright lamp flicked on above me, my vision solely white until it cleared. There was... a lamp on me. My eyes felt grainy and started to hurt from the sudden change in light. Multiple bodies were crowded around me. I looked around, trying to identify the figures.
Santa Claus, Cupid... my sleep paralysis demon, Sam. Wonder what he was doing here, we always get along.
We even
binged Keeping Up with the Kardashians last week. The Easter Bunny was there, of course. The Tooth Fairy stood to the right of me, wearing a necklace with somebody’s teeth on it. I recognized the Haribo bear standing next to Sam, drenched in honey.
“Where am I?” I asked, panicked. I tossed my head left to right, trying to meet eyes with the strange mammals surrounding me. They weren’t looking at me, and instead were gazing lifelessly at nothing.
A grumble erupted from Cupid’s throat. It sounded like... Italian?
Oh wait. No. No. That was Latin.
“Sum. Es. Est. Sumus. Estis. Sunt.”
I was part of an Illuminati meeting. This was my worst nightmare. Sam had totally told them, he was always such a prankster.
The rest of the figures joined Cupid, repeating the same foreign words.
“Help me! Let me out!” I shouted, squirming in my restraints. “Help me! Fire! Fire!” My calls for help were muffled by a fluffy white paw being placed on my face. It was very soft. Like velvet.
I made the executive decision to lick it. It tasted like cotton candy. I licked it again,
feeling the rabbit shiver. It was trying to resist
the urge to flinch.
I gave it a nice, long, slurp.
It jerked back suddenly.
“Hey dude, can you stop? We’re literally in the middle of something,” it reprimanded me. He sounded like a mixture between a surfer dude and a middle aged man going through a crisis. Totally my
type.
Scoffing, I rolled my
eyes. I was literally the worst sacrifice ever, I had no substantial meat on my body, no connection to the gods, and, uh... Oh. It was because I wouldn’t be missed, of course.
Thanks for that.
They stopped the chanting and the Easter Bunny grunted, squatting down and disappearing from my sight. It grunted again and... something thudded onto the ground. It was... um... in front of everyone?
It popped back up with some jelly beans. I then realized that the Haribo Bear was holding some gummy bears (not even going to think about the cannabalistic implications of that), the Tooth Fairy had some teeth, Cupid with some beating hearts. And Santa was holding... a Bang Energy drink?
Realization shook me like
a moderately chubby baby elephant being bodyslammed by a bodybuilder.
“No. No, no, no, no, no, please. Please, I’m begging you, anything but the Bang Energy, please, I’ll do anything, oh my God.” Tears started streaming down my face. They were... they were... turning me into the next biggest YouTuber! My life was over. Whatever took over my body wouldn’t be the real me.
Santa pulled a long sharpened candy cane from his beard, inching it closer to my torso. Sobs racked through my body, I knew what was happening. A pain shot from my stomach to my toes and then up to my forehead, then I fell back asleep.
Worst. Day. Ever. Um...
...
...
Ummmm...
...
Actually, this is quite nice.
No complaints here. ...
...
I looked at the camera, smiling like a madman. “MAKE SURE
TO COMMENT, SUBSCRIBE, AND SMASH YOUR **** ONTO THAT LIKE BUTTON!”
