Academy Reinstates Study Hours

Disclaimer: This article has been heavily lightly censored. The changes should not be noticeable.

“Though we may be physically far, we will always be near in our hearts.”

With these warming words, the Academy announced their decision to reinstate study hours worldwide. 

“Regardless of where you may find yourself in these troubling times, we hope that the spirit of Exeter can remain with you through this simple ritual,” the Academy said. “You know, like what those Headspace ads tell you on YouTube, except for two hours straight.”

The current plan is to force invite students to participate in study hours between 8 and 10p.m. EST, allowing them to come together and quietly do homework without talking or seeing each other. It’s just like how they would normally do homework, just all at the same time so they can share the pain support each other.

Many A few students raised concerns about this system. “I live on the West Coast,” upper Fali Cornia said. “Study hours would be from 5-7 for me, but I need to have dinner with family!”

Luckily, the problem was solved quickly and without much fuss. “We hear you and understand your concerns,” the Academy said lovingly. “However, we ask you to look upon your commitment to study hours as an educational priority that will greatly enhance your online learning experience and possibly offer you greater satisfaction than dinner.”

“I stay up late zooming,” an international student complained. “I would be sleeping during study hours.”

“We hear you and understand your concerns,” the Academy said tenderly. “However, we ask you to look upon your commitment to study hours as an educational priority that will greatly enhance your online learning experience and possibly offer you greater satisfaction than sleeping.”

This continued for a long time a little while.

However, the Academy has heard your complaints and will kindheartedly offer up their plans for students to edit to their heart's content. “Look, we only wanted to give you a sense of togetherness while being apart. We wanted to give you the moments you cherish on campus, even though you are so far away from each other now. We wanted to keep you guys safe and help you stay safe because we care. This was the only way we knew how.”

Thus, they will share the google doc with editing permissions, so to speak, allowing you to tailor your study hours experience to your liking. However, until substantial changes are made, the Academy beseeches you to follow their guidelines and participate in study hours.

Any suggestions and edits can be made at the next StuCo meeting, on Tuesday night in the Forum.